Volkswagen recalls own pants

Article image
Volkswagen, yesterday
Volkswagen, yesterday

Volkswagen has issued a precautionary recall for its own pants after noticing that they may be on fire.

‘This is purely a precaution,’ said VW spokesman Karl-Hans Pinocchio. ‘Yes, there might be a small about of fire around the area of our pants, but they will not emit over 40 times the permitted amounts of nitrogen oxides and cause respiratory problems in children as long as we keep them inside this emissions testing facility.’

A VW insider later admitted that the emissions relating to the company’s pants being on fire are likely to be dwarfed by those caused by suddenly burning through $18 billion.

‘Look, this isn’t that bad,’ insisted a spokesman. ‘I mean, it’s not like we mouth banged a pig or something…’