The M2nd coming is upon us

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The new BMW M-Jesus, yesterday
The new BMW M-Jesus, yesterday

BMW has announced details of its new M2 which has come to the earth to save us all with its benevolent majesty.

The M2 has been sent here as the son of M4 and its mission is to bless us all with its wonders, according to preview articles in the car media today.

‘Verily, shall we see its munificent power,’ noted one report. ‘Which we understand is around 365bhp.’

‘Our father, who art in Munchen, hallowed by thy name,’ stated another online story. ‘Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from e-diff. For blown is the engine, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Ah-M.’

‘The M2 lives to save us from our sins,’ said industry expert Ian Dustreaex-Pert. ‘And for our sins it will be murdered, probably by car journalists who will eventually stop masturbating over it, almost certainly to complain that the steering isn’t very good, the damping isn’t quite right, and the whole car feels too heavy.’