There was shock amongst astronomers this week with news that the sun is to switch entirely to white LEDs, inspired by the daytime running lights on modern cars.
‘This will bring the sun right up to date,’ said the vast star’s chief designer, Rolnek Bigwatch. ‘The great thing about LEDs is that we can use them in more creative ways to design a distinct light signature that isn’t distinct at all because everyone is doing the same thing.’
Sources say the new white LED sun will abandon the current circular design in favour of a slightly contrived line of some sort which will be given an idiotic name like ‘confidence ring’ or ‘badger’s eye’ or some shit.
‘Using bright white, DRL-style LEDs is great news for the sun,’ said a spokesman for the gigantic body at the centre of the solar system. ‘And of course, they will make it fifty fucking times brighter.’