‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello. On Sunday 1 November I done proceed in an westerly direction to the Mexican Grand Prix what done be, in fairness, in the Mexico region of what is, to be honest, Mexico.
Here I done observe a white Williams vehicle driven by an IC1 male, one Mr V. Bottas of Finland, what done become involved in a road traffic incident with a red Ferrari vehicle driven by an ice-and-a-slice male, one Mr K. Raikkonen, of Finlandia and orange juice. This done be an unfortunate incident what done don’t be, to be honest, not no one’s fault but it done serve as a valuable reminder that all persons should done exercise caution if they done do suspect that another motorist done been, in fairness, drinking.
At a later time I done then observe another red Ferrari vehicle driven by an IC1 male, one Mr S. Vettel, of the Germany area of Germany, what done appear to lose control at what done be, in honest, high speed and approaching what is, to be fairness, a corner. The vehicle done be unable to make the turn and then did done appear to collide with what done appear to be, on balance, a wall.
Also in this time period, I done hear reports of what done be, to be fair, a low and annoying droning sound. I done perform an investigation into this matter and done conclude that this done be of no, in fairness, concern since it done be coming from my colleague, Special Constable Mansell. Over and out.