Lambo lamped by lady lies

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An Lamborghini, yesterday
An Lamborghini, yesterday

Lamborghini is the latest VW Group company to hit trouble this week as independent tests showed that its cars fail to meet official figures for the amount of girls they can attract.

The tests, conducted with a 2014 Aventador in downtown Miami, showed that the car fell well short of attracting the claimed numbers of ‘honeys, babes and hotties’. Researchers noted that girls who were attracted to the test Lamborghini recorded dangerously high levels of Au(2me), the scientific abbreviation for gold digging.

After further investigation, researchers believe Lamborghini’s official stats for their cars may be based on outdated figures recorded using a 1980s Countach which had been fitted with Rod Stewart.

Preliminary conclusions from authorities in the US suggest that the inaccurate claims for sexual attractiveness may affect several Lamborghinis including the Gallardo, Murcielago and Diablo, while the figures for the LM002 may overstate its ability to attract deeply repressed men of certain age who get an erection over military things.