There were celebrations in the London borough of Grunting last night as local minicab driver Minika Bdriver marked five glorious years of the check engine light coming on in his Skoda Octavia.
‘I remember the day the light came on,’ Mr Bdriver recalls. ‘It was an unusual day for several reasons. I think I had just taken a route that didn’t involve blindly following my sat-nav into a traffic jam, and earlier I had applied the brakes more than two feet in front of a stopped car in front. Then to cap it all, my little yellow friend lit up and life was never the same again.’
Upon seeing the check engine warning illuminate, Mr Bdriver says he reacted immediately. ‘As soon as I saw that little light, I knew what I had to do. I had to keep driving the car another five years and 127,000 miles,’ he explains. ‘That’s the great thing about these modern cars. They just don’t need any maintenance, especially not of the brakes. Although I remember about two years ago I did put some air in one of the tyres.’
To mark the fifth anniversary of his check engine light coming on, Mr Bdriver’s friends and colleagues are to stage a spectacular fireworks display of bright lights and unusual noises, all of which he will steadfastly ignore.