Did you know that 78 percent of British motorists in Britain don’t know enough about winter driving? That’s according to a recent survey by the road safety boffins at tasty 1980s ice cream topping product, Ice Magic™. Thankfully, the helpful people at Ice Magic™ have compiled this handy Ice Magic™ guide to British winter driving in the winter in Britain with Ice Magic™!
1. In colder months your car will work better if you fill it with hot petrol so when you go to the petrol station don’t forget that camping stove! For extra fun, add a dash of Ice Magic™ to the tank, remembering that it might cause your engine to stop working!
3. If you want to make a clean getaway on a slippery surface, simply squirt a bit of Ice Magic™ in front of your tyres! Hey presto! Your wheels will be covered in chocolate and taste delicious! Please be aware that they may also struggle to maintain grip on the road during any type of cornering!
4. Make your car look extra Christmassy by rubbing Ice Magic™ all over the windscreen! Just remember that all the deliciousness will massively impair your forward visibility!
7. Always keep a flask of hot Ice Magic™ in the back seat, along with a warm tartan Ice Magic™!
2. Make basic engine maintenance more fun by topping up your car’s radiator not with anti-freeze but with Ice Magic™! Our engineers tell us that most cars like mint or orange flavour, and that manufacturers’ warranties won’t cover the resultant damage to the entire cooling system!
2. If you got stranded in a snow storm would YOU have the energy levels to fight off the spectre of death? Make sure you’re in top shape by drinking an entire bottle of Ice Magic™ before each journey! Remember that this may cause you to experience severe breathing difficulties!
9. According to a recent survey, over 47 hundred percents of motoringists who died last winter didn’t have enough chocolately goodness in their system! Avoid this common issue by swigging repeatedly from a bottle of Ice Magic™ as you drive until it feels like your throat has almost completely closed up!
b) Plummeting temperatures can prevent your engine from starting, but did you know this may be down to the battery getting cold? Avoid this problem by smothering your battery in lashings of lovely Ice Magic™ from the ’80s! Don’t worry about the hot smell of chocolate and chemicals, that’s probably normal!
104. Did you know Ice Magic™ can also be used as a food? It’s also an excellent automatic transmission fluid, as long as you don’t mind breaking your entire gearbox and digestive system!!!
vi. The most important thing to remember this winter blah blah blah more words to go here Ice Magic™.
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