The F1 Commission this week rejected proposals for cheaper customer engines amid fears that such a move ‘simply wasn’t complicated enough’.
An FIA statement confirmed that the Commission vetoed the so-called ‘client’ engine in favour of drawing up some baffling and interminable 900 page regulation about costs and the minimum number of teams an engine maker must supply, thereby requiring all parties to attend another 74 very long meetings.
‘Authorising customer engines would be very straightforward,’ said one insider. ‘And that simply won’t do. Formula 1 is the pinnacle of motorsport and it must have the pinnacle of needlessly complicated rules.’
‘F1 should inspire the kids of today,’ noted another high-ranking team representative. ‘We would be neglecting our responsibility if we didn’t let our young people dream that one day they too could be sitting in a meeting room endlessly working through tiny details for some unnecessarily contrived and annoying piece of legislation.’
The FIA was quick to point out that the rejection of customer engines was not only to ensure many more meetings and the creation of many more lengthy documents. There was also concern from some parties that the client power unit ‘might be better than the shitty, shitty engines we’re making at the moment’.