VW uses Hitler to improve image

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The Volkswagen factory, yesterday
The Volkswagen factory, yesterday

Volkswagen has announced radical plans to improve its tarnished image by re-naming itself The Hitler Car Company.

‘The VW name has been irretrievably damaged by the recent emissions issues and we decided a re-branding was the only way forward,’ admitted an insider. ‘We needed a name that is familiar, that has a strong connection to our heritage, and that has a better image than Volkswagen.’

‘Of course, there are some issues with renaming Volkswagen as The Hitler Car Company,’ our source admitted. ‘Yes, alright, he did start one of the most terrible conflicts in the history of the world and yes, fine, he was responsible for the horrific genocide of millions but at least he was always scrupulously honest about his legally mandated laboratory testing of exhaust output.’

‘When the TDI scandal first broke we really lost the trust of tightfisted people in Europe and insufferable hippies in the north western United States,’ our mole concluded. ‘We think The Hitler Car Company can win them back with its rich heritage of neat hairstyles, massive flags and relatively few lies about nitrogen oxide.’

VW will begin to re-brand as The HCC early next year and will mark the occasion with a limited edition called A Golf Hitler.