Porsche reveals details of entry-level defensiveness

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An drawing of the new Boxster, yesterday
An drawing of the new Boxster, yesterday

Porsche has released some early information about its next generation Boxster and Cayman range, including crucial details about how defensive its owners will be.

The biggest change is that the cars will be powered by a new turbocharged four-cylinder engine which Porsche says offers efficiency benefits and more than adequate performance or, as owners will put it, ‘better economy, actually’ and ‘faster than an old generation 911 in the real world, actually’.

Despite the loss of two cylinders, the company says these new engines will be tuned to make a pleasant exhaust sound that will cause owners to write at length on internet forums about how ‘it doesn’t bother me, actually’.

As before, the Boxster and Cayman will be mid-engined or, as owners will put it, ‘better balanced, actually’.

Porsche has also revealed that the new cars will be grouped under the new 718 model designation which it believes will bring logic to the range while allowing owners to say ‘it’s an historic badge, actually’ and claim that it appeals to ‘people who actually known their stuff, actually’.

Prices for the new cars have yet to be confirmed but are likely to be around the ‘I could have easily afforded a 911 but I chose this, actually’ mark.