Porsche presents new naming policy

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An badge, yesterday
An badge, yesterday

Porsche has released pictures of its new 718 Boxster, along with details of a new policy – pointlessly putting numbers in front of things for which there is already a perfectly well-known word.

‘That’s right,’ confirmed a Porsche 628 spokesman. ‘Here at our 804 head office we had a 412 meeting during which we looked at some 807 Powerpoint slides and ate some 716 biscuits and the people from 423 marketing decided it would be a brilliant 217 idea to put pointless numbers in front of widely-known 819 words.’

‘Having a familiar 616 name isn’t enough,’ explained the company’s 428 marketing boss, Mark Ettingboss. ‘Here at 001 Porsche, we think a 616 name should be needlessly complicated and hard to say and should have some pointless component that 703 literally everyone in the entire 000 world ignores because it’s 301 fucking stupid.’

Mr Ettingboss later denied that his new policy was ‘924 crap’.