Formula 1 has revealed first details of a new qualifying format for the 2016 season which is claimed to make Saturdays fun for children of all ages.
Under the proposed new format, all the drivers drive round and round the track until the music stops. The last one to cross the line is then ‘out’ and this continues until someone has won a kazoo.
The remaining drivers then move on to Q2 where they must drive as quickly as they can whilst approaching a drawing of a donkey upon which they must pin a tail. Furthest from the correct spot in each turn is then sent to sit on the side of the room and watch, preferably without crying.
For the final part of qualifying, all remaining drivers must drive very quickly to find a good hiding place somewhere around the circuit. The last one to be found is the winner.
All drivers can then return to the pits for lashings of Tizer and cake.
‘Smashing!’ said Claire Williams, jauntily.