In the wake of serious allegations of cheating, grunting medicine enthusiast Maria Sharapova has stated that she ‘cannot be associated’ with low moral standards and has terminated her relationship with the Volkswagen Group.
‘Ms Sharapova was shocked to find that VW had been cheating,’ said a spokesman. ‘She does not accept excuses such as, ‘we did not know about these emissions problems’. That is a poor explanation and certainly not as believable as, say, ‘I didn’t realise the rules had changed’ or ‘no, honestly, I have a family history of, erm, diabetes’.’
Sharapova is now distancing herself from anything to do with the VW Group of companies, saying in a statement that they have ‘brought shame and disrepute to the world of free cars and money’.