F1 fans and drivers today pleaded with the sport’s bosses not to repeat the ‘huge mistake’ of the past two races by allowing Nico Rosberg to win again in China.
‘This sort of farce puts people off Formula 1’ said race fan Ray Sfann. ‘I mean, it’s embarrassing when the winner just drives round and round without once appearing on television then pops up at the end saying ‘woo-hoo’ on the radio as if he’s disinterestedly reading it off a script.’
The Grand Prix Drivers’ Association was equally damning in its analysis of Nico Rosberg somehow winning the last two races. ‘It brings our sport into disrepute if a winner is someone who gives a post-race press conference at which they drone on in a monotone about how difficult it was and show no sign of being a bit pleased at having won a sodding Formula 1 race,’ they said in a statement. ‘Especially if they’re also creepily calm in pre-race interviews and generally give the impression that being a Formula 1 driver is a tedious slog and gives them the same eerily unemotional feeling as working in Carphone fucking Warehouse.’
‘You’re right, he really is rubbish at saying ‘woo-hoo’,’ added Damon Albarn, yesterday.
