There was confusion on the internet today as a well-spoken twenty-something twat with a supercar didn’t make an abysmal YouTube video about it.
Sources say Jamie Braying-Titt of Squawking in Delight has owned his Lamborghini Huracan for over a month now and, despite completely ruining it with a ghastly wrap and bespoke alcantara seat belts, has shown no inclination to record a lengthy and completely uninteresting YouTube film showing him driving it like a bellend and talking about himself in an accent that makes him sound like he’s trying to swallow a squash ball, as if anyone gives a flying cock about what he says or thinks.
‘He’s really let everyone down with this,’ admitted his father Fnnnurrr. ‘I blame myself really. I tried to give him as much money as possible in the hope that he’d squander it on several GoPros and an iMac to edit video upon but perhaps you just can’t buy an inexplicable desire to clog up YouTube with 37 minute soliloquys about why you chose this car and what’s wrong with the placement of Lamborghini electric mirror adjustment controls.’
The failure of an entitled arse to make insufferably self-indulgent videos about his extremely expensive car has destabilised the online world to such a degree that experts warn that the internet may have to compensate by generating more videos of privately educated 21 year old girls unboxing lipstick and describing the last skinny mocha frappu they bought, as if any of this is important.
