New cooking customiser co-operation

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AgaKahnThere was good news for fans of kitchens and vulgarity this week as one of Britain’s leading cooker makers announced a tie-up with one of the country’s leading Range Rover ruiners in a new project to be called the Aga Kahn.

The Aga Kahn boasts shiny black paint with a brightly coloured stripe up it whilst the hob covers have been replaced by massive alloys and the entire thing made to sit needlessly closer to the floor. As you’d expect from Kahn, the inside of each oven is completely covered in quilted leather.

Each example of the Aga Kahn is said to contain over seventeen miles of criss-cross stitching and in excess of sixty square metres of stick-on carbon fibre-effect tape.

The Aga Kahn joins an expanded range of slightly spoiled products, alongside a pointlessly quilted and de-chromed version of a disco legend to be called the Chaka Kahn.

Special correspondents: Grant Wardrop and Sarah Pelling