After high-profile cases involving Volkswagen and Mitsubishi, Morgan is the latest car maker to suffer a certification scandal as authorities discovered its cars contained abnormal levels of lead, asbestos and rickets.
‘During routine testing we discovered several anomalies with Morgan vehicles,’ explained DoT inspector Dee Owtea-Inspekta. ‘Among our concerns, we noted above-average levels of scurvy, an unacceptable degree of parchment, and unusually high levels of wattle AND daub.’
‘This is all just a bally mix-up,’ spluttered Morgan spokesman Morgan Sspokes-Mann. ‘Our cars are perfectly within the law in all areas including tweed thickness, occasional table placement, and moustache movement at the permitted testing speed of eight furlongs per innings.’
Morgan later claimed to be too busy to further co-operate with the authorities because ‘don’t you know there’s a war on’.