Proton used this weekend’s prestigious Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este to announce its new ‘tribute series’ which begins with a stunning one-off recreation of some shitty old Proton from the early ‘90s.
‘Our craftsmen devoted over 18 man hours to perfectly reproducing the exquisite detail of some shitty old Proton from the early ‘90s,’ explained Proton spokesman, Pro-Tong Spo-Scma-Nn. ‘The design alone was extremely time consuming but we did not rest until we had completely recaptured the look of a dismal 1980s Mitsubishi with a new grille on it. And that’s before we got onto sumptuous seat fabric rendered in the finest pure nylon with over seven hand-applied cigarette burns, and the thin plastic door bins containing an authentic recreation of five pay & display tickets from car parks in the Bristol area and a Halfords window scraper on which the foam bit has gone mouldy.’
‘The care lavished on this new version of some shitty old Proton from the ’90s is remarkable,’ gushed concours d’elegance expert, Ken Coors-Dellegancexpert. ‘I was particularly struck by the delicate rust bubbles on the rear wheel arches and the window sticker proclaiming that the engine is capable of running on unleaded petrol.’
The car was presented by celebrity Proton fan Dane Bowers, formerly of boy band Second Breakfast. Bowers said being at Villa d’Este made him both ‘very honoured’ and ‘incredibly sweaty’.