Motorsport News

Alonso in existential crisis

Fernando Alonso, yesterday
Fernando Alonso, yesterday

Concern grows for Fernando Alonso today as sources say the Spanish driver’s ‘Can I stop now?’ radio message during the Canadian GP was in fact a wider philosophical question.

‘Fernando seems to have having an existential crisis,’ admitted one McLaren insider. ‘For example, the other day he walked into the garage, pointed at a sign, said ‘What does this mean?’ and then sighed. We told him it was just the notice that said there was fuel in the car, which we thought he would know already. It’s only later we realised his question was of a metaphysical nature.’

‘Then there’s the whole interview we had to pull last weekend,’ our source continued. ‘The interviewer’s first question was just, ‘What do you think of your season so far?’ But Fernando started mumbling that he was ‘just driving round and round in circles’ and then closed his eyes and went to sleep.’

Team insiders are still mystified as to the cause of Alonso’s personal and professional ennui but say there may be a clue in this haiku, found scrawled on the wall of his motorhome;

Spring mist brings new hope
The crow is over the sea
Shitty shit engine