The government has confirmed today that the British public will be given a vote on whether Jenson Button stays within the McLaren team in a controversial poll already dubbed ‘Buttxit’.
‘For too long JB has had to live under the restrictive regime of the failing McLaren organisation,’ explained a spokesman for the Buttxit camp. ‘Every year McLaren pays Jenson £10m and if we vote Leave that money could be spent on the NHS or some other fictional claim we’re going to renege on immediately.’
‘JB needs to take back control and regain his sovereignty,’ the Buttxit spokesman continued. ‘Although what I’m really doing is using meaningless statements to mask the fact I secretly hate people from Surrey.’
‘The Buttxit camp talk about all the benefits of leaving McLaren,’ countered a leading Jenstay campaigner. ‘But these are all highly theoretical and there is no guarantee of an increase in punditry, Le Mans drives, and being able to open a Honda dealership like Derek Warwick.’
‘Experts are already warning that a Buttxit could set the team back 50 years,’ noted a McLaren insider. ‘Which would be a welcome performance boost for us.’
