The F1 strategy group has voted against the halo protection system for 2017 in favour of a new safety strategy based on telling the drivers to ‘be careful’.
‘The group unanimously decided to continue evaluating protection systems such as halo,’ said a spokesman. ‘But in the meantime, we believe there is great merit in just telling the drivers to drive safely please.’
‘For 2017, F1 will introduce something called the New Safety System,’ the spokesman continued. ‘Which is a small pamphlet containing phrases such as “slow a down a bit”, “woah, steady on” and “careful now”. We believe this will have a far reaching effect, without the need to strap a massive flip-flop to the top of the car.’
‘I certainly will be paying attention to this advice,’ said Nico Rosberg. ‘While also ignoring it, obviously,’ he added, lifting off very slightly.