Ask A Total Prick Columns News

Ask A Total Prick From An Internet Forum

Article image

Got a problem? Want a passive aggressive knobslit to answer it by acting like he owns the place? Okay then.

tpfaif_6Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum,
A while ago I remember you recommending a particular car but I can’t recall what it was. Could you jog my memory?
KM, London

Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies…
Ever heard of a little thing called the search function? I guess not. Maybe the mods could lock this thread before it gets ugly, although it’s already too late for that one thanks to the actions of some people, mentioning no names, KM. My girlfriend would know the answer to this one, and she’s not even that into cars, although I live in hope!! I think you’ll find the car I was referring to was my very own steed of choice, the Honda Civic Type-S. Or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘your car’!!! I literally researched and test drove every single comparable car and the HCT-S wiped the floor with them, as I was saying to my girlfriend only the other night while she was being my girlfriend. I have a girlfriend.


Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum,
Hi. I’m new to the forum and had a quick question. We recently bought a second car so I rang up my insurance company to take my wife off my policy and was staggered to discover this would actually put my premium up. Have you ever heard of this happening before?
PG, Wolverhampton

Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies…
Another newbie. Where are these people coming from? You’d do well to watch your tone and do some reading before you start throwing questions around. I don’t want to be forced to ask the moderators to get out the ban cannon again! I’ve got far better things to be doing, like being with my girlfriend. Since you’re asking about insurance, and from re-reading your post I think that’s what you’re talking about, you raise a surprisingly interesting point for once. I was thinking of putting my girlfriend on the insurance for my HCT-S as a surprise. Not right now, but perhaps in a couple of weeks to celebrate our one month anniversary. I can’t wait to see my girlfriend’s face when she hears what I have done for her, my girlfriend!!!


Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum,
Hey mate, the Warm Honda Sub-forum are having another Pints & Power meet at the Wheat Sheaf in Guildford next month. You should come down, and bring your girlfriend.
GN, Woking

Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies…
I’ve asked my girlfriend and my girlfriend can’t make it sadly but I’ll come down to see the crazy gang and also she is not my girlfriend any more. Your tone is offensive and I am reporting you to the mods.