Italy shocked by Fiat cheat claims

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Fiat, yesterday
Fiat, yesterday

As the EPA accuses Fiat Chrysler of cheating US diesel emissions tests, the Italian car industry has reacted with shock at news that one of their number should be found behaving in a less-than-scrupulous way.

‘I cannot believe that they would distort or exaggerate numbers,’ sighed a Lamborghini spokesman at the launch of the new 1100 horsepower, 800 kilo Aventador R.

‘It is such a shame that they felt the need to cheat,’ agreed a Ferrari engineer, unloading two identical 488s from a lorry for a magazine story and then insisting that the second one should only be used for the straight line tests.

‘You know, it is so disappointing that they would not play by the rules,’ added a former Lancia rally car designer, moving some flimsy magnesium tubes while struggling to count to 200.

In Turin, however, the mood remained bullish. ‘Look, there’s no way I’m not going to be able to bullshit my way out of this one,’ explained FCA boss, Sergio Marchionne. ‘Come on, I’m the guy who kept his job even after signing off the Fiat 500L.’