PSA gets good deal on Vauxhall

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An Vauxhall garage, yesterday

PSA is to buy Vauxhall after securing an attractive 0 percent finance offer which the salesman said was only available this week.

Insiders say PSA will be unable to spec Vauxhall to its own requirements, as it is being taken from stock and has already been registered. However, bosses at the French manufacturer were able to haggle so that Vauxhall will come with some carpet mats and a bunch of flowers for their wives.

Sources in Paris say that PSA has been going around telling friends that it got ‘a really good deal’ on Vauxhall and has ignored criticism from someone on an internet who ‘knows about cars’ and who has asked why the French giant ‘didn’t get Audi’.

‘We don’t care about depreciation,’ PSA is reported to have said after signing the paperwork for its Vauxhall earlier today. ‘As long as we like it, that’s the main thing’.