D.I. Blundell done report from the 2018 Australian Grand Prix

‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello.

Last week I done proceed in a downward direction to the Australia region, what done be in the southern of the hemispheres. Here I done proceed to the Melbourne area where I done witness what were, in fairness, a Grand Prix what be happening in Australia and what my enquiries done then lead me to understand were the Australian Grand Prix.

In what were, quite honestly, the qualification area of this event, I done witness a silver, green and black Mercedes vehicle driven by an IC1 male, one Mr V. Bottas of the Finland region of Finland, what done lose what be, to be fair, control. This absence of what done be control of the car in combination with what I have reason to believe was momentum done cause the vehicle to have a collision with what I done believe to be a barrier. Mr Bottas done appear to be in the vicinity of unharmed by what done happened but this ought to be a lesson to all motorists about why you should not done overdo it in the event that you done have slightly less ability than another motorist in an identical vehicle.

The following day, what done be, to be fair, Sunday, I done observe another Mercedes vehicle driven by an IC3 male, one Mr L. Hamilton of the Stevenage region of the United States, what done be pursued by a red Ferrari vehicle driven by an IC1 male, one Mr S. Vettel, of the comedy end of the hairdresser. It done seem to me that, in fairness, Mr Vettel done be maintaining what were a more than adequate distance to the vehicle in front for the conditions and this done need to be not done be of no concern to Mr Hamilton.

I done then, however, observe an invisible vehicle what done be literally a virtual safety car and this done cause Mr Vettel’s vehicle to then done do a pit stop what done cause it to emerge in what done be, in fairness, front of Mr Hamilton’s vehicle. Clearly, this done be what is, to be honest, a disappointment for Mr Hamilton and this should be a warning to all motorists to done be sure to done do have a team what done can done do what are, in fairness, maths.

Over and out.