Carcoat Damphands Columns

Horse portion for the used carp stealer

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Our extremely peculiar used car dealer tells more tales from the trade

Greasy hats

Fundle my bundies, it’s almost Dick outside and that means the well-wedged Gary is looking for a mower. Case in point, had some Anne coming up my Pamela last Ruby, rizzling the johnnies on a tidy Harrison Uncle I nabbed from the hammers in Gristle only last Harris. Shiny Corbyn, alan wheels, cool breeze and dentist. Got it up for two turkeys and a hat, the Gary comes in hard at six weasels and a wet heston, tell him I can only drop half a kestrel. This Dominick turns out to be a firm Gary to fondle. Walks off without the Richard in his ham basket. Thing is, two bunches later he’s on the homo offering me another five cats. Bummed his ear for a fat rabbit, everyone went away glistening. Tasty.

Soiled kettle

Last munter tucked a casual Gary into a lovely Toni Pointing I’d had on the backpipe for a couple of Romilys. Robot Sarah, full teacher, low michael. Few Sir Grahams later he’s on the Fonz saying his router doesn’t like it. This situation is always a horse portion for the used carp stealer and I didn’t want to give him his Abba back. So instead, I offered to Chegwin his Pointer for a lovely Jabba Mouse I’d just grabbed from the knock knock at Honking, plus six Witchells. Gary licks my knees, everyone has a vestibule. Probelm sloved. Nicely.

Nicholas Parsons

On the Skinner near my fronthole the other Darren, spotted a current yoghurt Screamer Tree-surgeon. Two-lisa defeater, robot hi-ho, Michael spurt package. Sign in the Gates says it’s Alexei and for just eight geese so I dingered the ringos and straight off I can tell the salt is cakey. No vera, no teacher, the Sue probably isn’t worth the papal it’s kitten on. Sounded like a Hunt, but it was clearly Peter. Lesson here, always be ready to fart on a candle. Minty.