Land Rover blames latest job losses on that bloody Discovery number plate

Article image

British company says production reduction down to piss-poor plate placement

Land Rover has announced a fresh round of redundancies which the company has blamed on that bloody Discovery number plate.

“A number of factors have caused us to adjust production targets such as a shift away from diesel engines and uncertainty over Brexit,” explained Solihull spokesperson, Sally Hall-Spowkepersson. “But mostly it’s that bloody Discovery number plate.”

Land Rover has been riding high in recent years with the huge success of the Range Rover Evoque and the introduction of the stylish Velar, but the company’s fortunes have taken a downturn in the last year after everyone saw that bloody Discovery number plate.

“You could argue that Land Rover has been hamstrung by a relatively narrow engine range and a confusing model hierarchy,” noted industry analyst Ian Dustryanalist. “But really their main problem is that bloody Discovery number plate.”

Land Rover insists that, despite the latest round of job losses, the company is still in rude health and looking to recruit hundreds of new engineers and designers, at least some of whom might be able to do something about that bloody Discovery number plate.

“Reductive premium modernist emotional DNA premiumosity,” said Land Rover design boss and microscopic mirth vacuum Geraldine McGovern who will be keeping his job, somehow.