Cullinan release warning

Article image

After a previous leak of Cullinan, experts warn that Cullinan has now fully entered the world

People across Britain and Europe are being advised to stay indoors and keep away from the internet after a dangerous release of Cullinan.

The issue started earlier this week with a large leak of Cullinan, leading to the full horror of today’s Cullinan release. The Cullinan release is reported to have come from Goodwood in Sussex, though the real source is actually Munich, and is claimed to lead to vomiting and nausea.

“Anyone looking directly at the Cullinan may experience feelings of sickness, despair and rage,” explained dangerousness expert Dan Gerousness-Ecspert. “In the spectrum of unpleasant things, it’s somewhere between the first outbreak of Cayenne and 2009’s full-blown Lagonda concept.”

Anyone exposed to Cullinan is advised to look away immediately and to wait for a suitable period of time until the Cullinan has drifted to China or the Middle East where hopefully it will be contained.