Motorsport News

Pirelli introduces even softer tyres

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Runnier rubber rolled out in run-up to Rascasse race

Pirelli has surprised F1 teams ahead of this weekend’s Monaco Grand Prix by introducing a new tyre choice, dubbed hyperultramegasoft.

The new hyperultramegasoft compound will be one of the compulsory tyres at the next race and will be distinguished by a sort of runny black ring around the outside with grit and leaves and souvenirs stuck to it.

“The hyperultramegasoft tyre really is very soft,” explained whoever is Paul Hembery these days. “I mean, really soft. I probably wouldn’t touch it if I were you. We have to dust them with flour just to get them into the lorry.”

Faced with this surprise new addition to the tyre line up, some teams seemed less than impressed. “It’s incredibly sticky,” explained one senior engineer. “The first time we tested it we had to run with two phones, a laptop and one of the truckies stuck to the front right. I mean, it really is fucking sticky.”

A high-ranking insider at another team echoed this view. “They’re so fucking sticky,” he noted. “We got one stuck to the wall earlier and it’s still there now. Frankly, it’s a problem just getting the car moving. Also, they only last half a lap.”

Asked if the new, incredibly soft compound was about increasing mechanical grip for more overtaking, a Pirelli spokesman seemed confused. “Overtaking? No, that’s not our job,” he said. “This is just about making the sport more complicated and confusing.”