Motorsport News

Russian conspiracy exposed

by
Article image

Interesting investigation rumbles Ruskie ruse

A new investigation has blown the lid off a sensational Kremlin conspiracy and revealed the incredible truth that the Russian Grand Prix is extremely boring.

New evidence uncovered by website noshitsherlock.com reveals that, while the Russian government has for years maintained that their home Grand Prix is ‘worthwhile’, it is in fact ‘barely worth watching at all’.

The same investigation has discovered that the Kremlin has actively supressed information about the track, repeatedly claiming that it is ‘glamourous and exciting’ while denying allegations that it is actually ‘a tedious procession around what appears to be a light industrial estate’.

The explosive new report claims that the Russian government has been directly involved in attempts to obscure the truth about their Grand Prix using techniques such as ‘suggestion, deflection and plastering everything in Rolex adverts’.

The investigation also concludes that Vladimir Putin’s traditional visit to the drivers’ cooldown room is not ‘prestigious and exciting’ and might, in fact, be ‘an excruciatingly embarrassing ego trip for a rat-faced psycho’.