Speed record sunk by canine cock-up
The Bloodhound land speed record attempt is in trouble this week after project bosses admitted they had named it after the wrong sort of dog.
“I have now looked at a picture of an actual bloodhound and realised it is not the dog I was thinking of at all,” explained extremely serious man, Richard Noble. “Yes, they are capable of running, but they look foolish because they have sad eyes and their faces flap about a lot. This is not the dog I was thinking of to depict our record attempt and now the whole operation is in danger.”
Bloodhound insiders say that, once Noble’s error was realised, the entire project was paused while they tried to think of the dog he had in mind and this extensive delay caused all the money to run out.
“I must take some of the blame for this situation,” admitted even more serious man, Andy Green. “I did not think to question the properties of an actual bloodhound such as their aerodynamics, which are poor as they have very large ears which flap around at speed in what I’m told is an amusing manner”.
After the discovery of the wrong dog naming error, the Bloodhound team spent over £7m on a project to work out what sort of dog they actually meant and by the time this was concluded there was no more money left. It was the greyhound.
All is not lost for the ailing land speed record, however, as Richard Noble himself plans to correct the naming error by travelling back to the project’s inception in 2008, something he will achieve by driving his old Thrust 2 record car round and round the world at extremely high speed until time itself is reversed, “like in that documentary, Superman”.