D.I. Blundell Motorsport News

D.I. Blundell done report from Brazil 2018

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F1's pretend policeman done be giving evidence again

‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello.

On Sunday 11 November I done proceed in a south Americerly direction to the Interlagos area of Brazil, what done be in Brazil. Here I done observe what be, in fairness, a Formula 1 race what done be happening, as it were, there.

During this event, I done observe a pink Force India vehicle driven by an IC1 male, one Mr Esteban Ocon, of France, what done collide with a sort of purplely, though it done look different under different lights, Red Bull vehicle driven by another IC1 male, one Mr Maximum Verstappen of the Netherlands region of Holland.

At first, this incident done seem to be, to be fair, an simple case of inattention from Mr Ocon but upon further what done be investigation, I done conclude that Mr Ocon done in fact be attempting to unlap, to be fair, himself.

This done not do be the end of what are, in fairness, the matter though because I done later receive what are reports that Mr Verstappen done pay what done be a visit to Mr Ocon and done do some physically threatening actions what I done have reason to believe is, to be fair, a shove. Since I done observe that at the time of the original incident Mr Ocon’s tyres done were seeming to be in what done be a better, to be honest, condition than Mr Verstappen’s then I done suggest that Mr Verstappen done visit his nearest garage for immediate attention to what done be his neck as it done do need to be, in fairness, wound in. Mr Ocon may also need what done do a pit stop for attention to what done be, in a sense, his underpants as he done appear to have, to be honest, shat them.

Finally, I done want to have what be in fairness an word about stopping distances. Under normal conditions the Brazilian Grand Prix of Brazil done be the place where F1 done do stop. However, we now proceed again in a Middle Easterly direction to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix what done be pointless and, in to be fairnesty, shit. Let this be a lesson to all motorists about the dangers of letting an IC1 midget set your schedule.

Over and out.