New Supra ends production

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Cool coupe curiously canned

There was embarrassment in Japan this week with news that the new Toyota Supra has ended production.

The new Supra was first rumoured about 10 years ago and has been teased intermittently ever since without ever actually going on sale. Only now, with the announcement that production is to end, has Toyota been forced to admit that it started making Supras over six years ago and simply forgot to put the car on sale.

“We told the marketing people over and over that production had started,” complained one factory insider. “But they just kept saying it was fine and they still had another two or three years’ worth of teaser campaigns to go, but then they’d definitely tell people the car was on sale. I suppose it’s partly our fault for investing in that paint shop that can do harlequin patterns. Turns out everyone thought that was disguise and not a way of drawing attention to a brand new car that was ready to buy if only someone had bothered to book some transporters.”

“We must admit, we thought it was strange that they were ordering a production quantity of parts in about 2013 and yet the car never seemed to appear in showrooms,” admitted a spokesman for BMW, on whose Z4 platform the Supra is built. “We actually asked them about this and they said not to worry, they just had another four or five years of teaser campaigns to complete and then sales would really take off. We’re actually quite pleased they have made this mistake because it means most people won’t have noticed that the Supra is more handsome than our Z4, which looks like, how you would say, total ass chutney.”

News of the Supra’s demise has been met with dismay by Toyota dealers, many of whom have been eagerly awaiting an exciting new sports model to bring glamour to their showrooms. “Oh great, now instead of a sexy new coupe I’m going to have to get rid of a load of obsolete models. It’s just lucky we’ve got some tilt-only glass sunroof kits and stick-on body stripes from when we had to try and shift Starlets,” grumbled one UK Toyota salesman. “The company has really stitched us up here. It couldn’t be worse if they told us they were going to start sending the Camry to Britain again. Wait, why are you smirking…?”