An automotive influencer writes…

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Sniff Petrol is delighted to welcome a guest column from OLLY HIGUYS, better known as automotive influencer ON THE RIM

Hi guys! Olly here, On The Rim as usual. Hola Rimmers!

Okay, so this is BIG news. This is HUGE, yeah? I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this but here goes. Yes, it’s true you guys, I’m ACTUALLY thinking of buying a brand NEW Porsche 992. I know, it’s crazy, RIGHT?

So WHY am I thinking of buying this new Porsche? Well, that’s a GREAT question guys. Now, I want to answer this properly, in 27 different ways, all of them over 35 minutes long, but let’s get into it here first. Reason ONE, I guess I’ve always LOVED Porsches. Reason TWO, this is the new 992 guys. I mean, just, I don’t know, RIGHT? Reason three, hey, it’s a PORSCHE isn’t it? Flat V6 engine. Direct injection camshafts. Loads of turbos. It’s the REAL thing, right?

Okay, so here’s what I REALLY wanted to talk to you guys about today. So I DEFINITELY think I’m going to BUY the new Porsche but it’s NOT. THAT. SIMPLE. You know, this is the hard part. I mean, it’s like literally IMPOSSIBLE and that’s why I need YOU to tell me what you THINK. This is SOOOOO important. Serious question time guys; What COLOUR should I get my NEW Porsche in? I know, this is TOUGH. It’s literally, like, SO DIFFICULT.

But listen guys, I’ve thought about this a lot. Here we go. THIS is the moment you’ve ALL been waiting for. I’m actually going to reveal, TO YOU, the COLOUR of my NEW Porsche NINE. NINETY. TWO. Here we go. Yes, it is going to be, wait for it, BYZANTIUM BLUE. And yes, I KNOW that’s a special order colour and you guys remember I said I would NEVER go special order again after my experiences with my 991 TURBO and the GT3 RS and the GT2 RS but I just HAD to have it because it’s AWESOME and also daddy has increased my allowance. I think it’s WELL worth an extra £10,500 but let me know what YOU think even though I’m NOT paying attention to anything you SAY and am stringing this out FOR CLICKS!

Anyway, listen guys, the main reason I really wanted to talk to you TODAY because it’s been two hours since I last posted a video on my channel and I just KNOW you guys have been enjoying all 42 minutes of that AMAZING debate about whether to fit the BRANDED dust caps but I’ve got to say guys, something else is bothering me about my NEW Porsche 992. I mean, it’s a great car, okay, but I’ve had it for OVER nine days now and there are a FEW things I NEED to get off my chest, right? First of all, I just WISH I had ordered the blue seatbelts. I know I covered this before in six or seven videos and ultimately, hey, I decided against it but THAT was a SERIOUS mistake. I’m just SO UPSET, guys. I mean, it’s just a NIGHTMARE. Secondly, I don’t like the adaptive sports SEATS as much as I thought and I DON’T find this car just as comfortable as my Aston or my Ferrari or my other Ferrari which is WEIRD, right, but I’m going to make another 14 videos on THAT in future so don’t worry guys! And thirdly, okay you knew I was going to say this, what about the aftermarket carbon fibre wheels that were the subject of all 48 videos yesterday? Don’t forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE because there’s LOADS of great content coming on that SUPER controversial subject in the next 75 minutes and then again this AFTERNOON!

But right now I’ve got to address this one guys. If you saw my crossover vid with Tris and Charlie from CRANKING IT you’ll know that, yes, it’s true. That cat is WELL and truly out of the bag: I. Am. Having. My. Porsche. 992. WRAPPED. Look, I know you guys love my content and I know you’ll be supportive over whatever I decide to do, okay, and you guys are just the BEST so hang in there guys because this is going to be pretty damn crazy! So, what COLOUR should I go for, guys? You know, I’ve been giving this A LOT of thought and I’ve explained it all in 97 separate videos that are dropping on my channel in the next 10 minutes so don’t forget to watch all 14 hours of that! But hey, let’s jump cut awkwardly to the chase; my wrapped Porsche is going to be… PURPLE AND ORANGE DESERT CAMO! I’ve been working EXCLUSIVELY with the guys at BZH Wraps & Tints and we’ve come up with MAD scheme and it’s going to be AWESOME okay so stick around to see what BZH come up with because I just know it’s going to be GREAT. Big thanks to BZH, by the way, they’re just the BEST and I’m not just saying that because I have no SHAME about relentlessly PLUGGING things I get for FREE so big THANKS to those guys at BZH, check OUT the LINK! BZH!

That’s the GOOD news. The OTHER news I have is quite SAD, actually guys. That’s right, I’ve given this A LOT of THOUGHT, and that’s why I did a little fake SIGH just then, but it’s literally TRUE guys. I am SELLING my Porsche 992. I know, SAD TIMES but hey, I had it for OVER a week and, guys, you know I don’t keep my cars for THAT long, right? So yea, I’m totally sad to be making ANOTHER baffling CALL to the finance company but it’s just something I’ve GOT to do and, hey, I reckon you guys will understand because I KNOW you think behaving like a spoilt TODDLER with no ACTUAL JOB is something to ASPIRE to.

Now I know you guys will have A LOT of questions, such as why my parents DIDN’T give me enough HUGS when I was LITTLE, so dive into the comments RIGHT NOW but my 50 minutes of talking like a crack-addled gerbil to the same BADLY framed shot is DONE for this video so guys, DON’T forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE, and please, please, PLEASE just LIKE ME. Okay guys, KEEP RIMMING!