Como cock-waggling conference beats benchmark for bellends
Last weekend’s Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este has been declared the “finest ever” after attracting a record number of absolutely insufferable twats.
“Numbers were up in all key areas for total dreadfulness,” boasted event co-ordinator Luca Rownd. “From leathery Eurotrash in strident trousers to pretentious Americans covered in tweed, we were delighted with just how many deeply awful people made it to the Concorso d’Eleganza this year, and indeed how many of them made slightly too much effort to call it that at every opportunity even though they don’t speak Italian”.
Despite disappointing weather, Villa d’Este insiders say they were particularly delighted with the number of “rich guy hot weather hats” present across the weekend, hinting that turnout may have beaten even the legendary showing of 2017 when the event was said to resemble “a casting call for the Man from Del Monte”.
As ever, there was also a solid showing for linen across all three days with lightweight blazers making a resurgence amongst utter pricks, somewhat compensating for fewer sightings of terrible arseholes in very light-coloured trousers.
Finally, early reports say the figures for strutting sense of entitlement were up again on last year with solid improvements in the fields of talking too loudly in restaurants, wearing some kind of obnoxiously over-complicated watch, and striding about like you own the place, although in fairness you probably do.
“We are proud of how many unbearable bores made it to the event this year,” concluded Luca Rownd. “But it was also a great car show with so many rare and valuable cars driven into the grounds of Villa Erba. For all those who showed off their cars, we thank you and hope it was worth adding this year’s half a kilometre to the mileage”.