Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on Badass Bitchin’ Corporation. Cuz there ain’t no reason fo’ pre-race coverage to start on a muthaflippin’ Tuesday.
So las’ weekend we slide on over Silverstone side fo’ that British Gee to tha Pee. Though when I sayin’ ‘slide’, I be meanin’ ‘swim’. Yea, tha D-ster be makin’ a weather funny. Man, it be wetter out there than a coach load of ladies when Tha D stride by in tha tighty whitey jeans. Ringside view of ma genitizzles.
That bitch ass precipitation be so bad it be messin’ wit’ tha three stage drive to survive and they be red flaggin’ that muthaflicker. ‘Ventually they get they shit together and it be ma boy Nando on tha ones wit’ ma brother M Web on tha two slot and that ol’ muddyfunster Mickey Schu haulin’ it in on tha three strike. Things ain’t so gravy fo’ ma homie Jenny B though cuz that strugglin’ brother slam it home on the 18s. Ongoing set-up and tyre-related struggizzles.
Come tha red an’ deads it be Nando takin’ tha lead but there be some bad ass fights goin’ on behind he. Then who this crazy mother be takin’ tha pointy end? It’s ma buddy Tha Ham and he be drivin’ like a bad ass. Thing is, that shit can’t last and Nando be all up in he’s grill and shit. Tha Ham, he jus’ ain’t gonna make it stick. Eventual tyre degradizzle.
So y’all be thinkin’ Nando got it made. All tha action be happnin’ behind he, like when that messed up muthaflumper P Maldiddy go get into a smackdown wit’ tha Mexico muthaflicker Sergie P, but then what this be goin’ down at tha front? It be tha Down Under muthafunker M Web and he be takin’ Nando down to Chinatown. A classy driving demonstrizzle.
Come tha three step spray and talk to Jack-ay, it be M Web on tha ones, Nando on tha twos and ma homie Sebby V on tha three slot. Not bad for a number two drivizzle.
Formula 1 now moves on to Germany and you’ll be able to see full highlights of that race on Sunday 22 July starting at 5:30pm on BBC Two and the BBC HD channel.