Crazy Dave reports on the Scottish referendum

by Crazy Dave Coulthard on Friday, September 19th, 2014

CrazyDave2014Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on the Scottizzle Indepdenizzle Referendizzle, chattin’ wit’ you from ma spiritual home in tha Highlands. Of Monte Carlo.

So ma so solid SNP homie Ally Sal, he say Scotland should be a independent country and ting. And ma down on tha Downing Street homie D Cam, he be like, whatevs blood, you tink that’s what yo peeps want, let’s put it to tha vote. Powerizzle of democracizzle.

So, befo’ tha vote can happen, both sides gotta get into a smackdown ‘bout which is best. So all tha homies in London, they get ma big brow brother Al Darldiddy to tell everyone in Scotlizzle it be call ‘United Kingdom’ fo’ a reason, dumbasses. But, like, mo’ polite than that. Betterizzle togetherizzle.

But see, ma first minister bredren Ally Sal, he ain’t buying that. He say Scotlizzle don’t wanna be told what to do and wanna got its own shizzle goin’ down fo’ tha taxatizzle and educatizzle and keepin’ all tha money from the Nozzle Seazzle oilizzle.

Then tings get real serious. Ally Sal say this be a once in a lifetizzle oportunizzle and Al Darldiddy say dat be ‘xactly why you don’t wanna do any ting stupid and then tha no homies say, yo ain’t gonna have no military and the yes brothers say, but we go yo’ nuclear submarizzles and then tha big businizzles say they leave town if Scotlizzle become independizzle and ma miserable tennis muthafunker AndMu says he wanna yes vote and every homie be askin’, what do Seanizzle Connerizzle think?

Come tha X in a box day it be lookin’ close but when ma vote countin’ homies ‘cross tha nation be done wit’ they thang, dis is what ma brothas and sisters in Scotland be sayin’ aboot independence: Och aye tha… no.

As we say in here in Monaco; nae bother pal. Peace out.

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