That Rosberg punishment in full

by Sniff Petrol on Friday, August 29th, 2014

Nico Rosberg, yesterday

Nico Rosberg, yesterday

Mercedes says it has ‘disciplined’ Nico Rosberg for colliding with Lewis Hamilton during last weekend’s Belgian Grand Prix. Exclusive to Sniff Petrol, here are the details of his punishment.

- Must spend next calendar month referring to Lewis Hamilton as ‘Tron du Awesome’.

- Must swap Mercedes SL63 AMG for A180 diesel and is ‘forbidden’ from using the air-con even if he is ‘really sweaty’.

- Must agree to have official FIA entry name for Italian GP changed to ‘Nipple Cockberg’.

- Must undertake unpleasant new viral video task entitled ‘The Mice Bucket Challenge’.

- Must agree to eat one item made by each sponsor, even if they sell something that will taste awful such as Petronas or Monster.

- Must change ring tone to sound of Niki Lauda repeatedly shouting ‘BALLBAG’ through a trombone.

- Must give up ticket for forthcoming team away-day to World Of Owl.

- Must not to drive into team mate like a stupid twat.

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