McLaren hires Moyes

by Sniff Petrol on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Picture editor to my office please

Just 24 hours after being dismissed by Manchester United, beleaguered manager David Moyes has been hired by the McLaren F1 team.

‘It brings me the human emotion of delightedness to welcome David to the team,’ said Ron Dennis in a statement. ‘I hope he will facilitate for this organisation an optimal quantity of success. Transmission ends’.

Manchester United and McLaren are both well known sporting names who used to win major championships but have recently been going through tough times yet giving the football manager Martin Whitmarsh’s old job may surprise since many believe he was the cause of United’s woes. ‘It’s true,’ admitted one high ranking Woking source. ‘But he couldn’t make it worse than last season. Unless he made it like this season.’

McLaren insiders say Moyes is already planning to change the way the team is run during a race and will forgo sitting on the pit wall using team-to-car radio in favour of pacing up and down on the edge of the start-finish straight, wildly gesticulating and shouting orders at the drivers. One confidant also revealed that Jenson Button will be substituted on lap 23, right around the time he gets all flustered because the car is crap.

Small ads

  • Smallad140421

Read the rest…

Not advertisements

  • KandS140414

Read the rest…

Crazy Dave

  • Crazy Dave in China 2014

    by Crazy Dave Coulthard on April 21st, 2014


    Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on Bee to tha Bee to tha ciddy ciddy Cee wit’ a tight package. Of highlights. Yea. So las’ weekend we slide on over Shanghai side fo’ tha Chinese Giddy Pizzle and man, in tha three stage in it to win it, there ain’t no cats gonna touch ma pole hoggin’ homie Da… more…

Read the rest…


  • Land Rover reveals mad Discovery name plan

    by Sniff Petrol on April 17th, 2014


    After revealing the Discovery Vision concept and plans to also use the Discovery name on the forthcoming Freelander replacement, Land Rover today announced that in future all its models will be called Discovery. ‘It’s really very simple,’ insisted the company’s Head Of Discovery, Discovery Smith. ‘The Range Rover will become the Discovery Extra, the Range Rover Sport will become the… more…

Read the rest…


  • Domenicali ‘swapped for engine’

    by Sniff Petrol on April 15th, 2014


    Reports from Italy have confirmed that Stefano Domenicali did not resign from Ferrari as claimed yesterday and was actually used as a swap for a Mercedes engine. ‘The F14 T is not powerful enough,’ an insider confided to Sniff Petrol last night. ‘And the team was sick of Stefano capering about the factory doing impressions of Eric Morecambe rather than… more…

Read the rest…


Read the rest…

Troy Queef

  • As poised as a porcelain panther

    by Troy Queef on April 16th, 2014


    Somnambulant spears of sheer sunlight streak and shriek as an orange orb crests its head above the hazy horizontal horizon of England’s eastern extremes. All at once the light laps upon a coruscating cube shifting at some speed across the flatlands of the uberFens. Manipulate your mind palace to zoom in on this pacey pedalling and your eye will espy… more…

Read the rest…

Picture news

  • PicNews140415

Read the rest…

Carcoat Damphands

  • Nine grapes and an eagle

    by Carcoat on April 17th, 2014


    Sniff Petrol’s tame used car expert returns with more tales from the trade. Although we still don’t know which trade.  Grundle my bundies, the Small has turned Joe and that makes for loose grunting on the slab. Time to open them snatchbrackets and pump up the Lucardis. Taking a Tom round the Janets of Belming last Wogan, spotted a crispy… more…

Read the rest…


Read the rest…