Crazy Dave reports on the Scottish referendum

by Crazy Dave Coulthard on Friday, September 19th, 2014

CrazyDave2014Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on the Scottizzle Indepdenizzle Referendizzle, chattin’ wit’ you from ma spiritual home in tha Highlands. Of Monte Carlo.

So ma so solid SNP homie Ally Sal, he say Scotland should be a independent country and ting. And ma down on tha Downing Street homie D Cam, he be like, whatevs blood, you tink that’s what yo peeps want, let’s put it to tha vote. Powerizzle of democracizzle.

So, befo’ tha vote can happen, both sides gotta get into a smackdown ‘bout which is best. So all tha homies in London, they get ma big brow brother Al Darldiddy to tell everyone in Scotlizzle it be call ‘United Kingdom’ fo’ a reason, dumbasses. But, like, mo’ polite than that. Betterizzle togetherizzle.

But see, ma first minister bredren Ally Sal, he ain’t buying that. He say Scotlizzle don’t wanna be told what to do and wanna got its own shizzle goin’ down fo’ tha taxatizzle and educatizzle and keepin’ all tha money from the Nozzle Seazzle oilizzle.

Then tings get real serious. Ally Sal say this be a once in a lifetizzle oportunizzle and Al Darldiddy say dat be ‘xactly why you don’t wanna do any ting stupid and then tha no homies say, yo ain’t gonna have no military and the yes brothers say, but we go yo’ nuclear submarizzles and then tha big businizzles say they leave town if Scotlizzle become independizzle and ma miserable tennis muthafunker AndMu says he wanna yes vote and every homie be askin’, what do Seanizzle Connerizzle think?

Come tha X in a box day it be lookin’ close but when ma vote countin’ homies ‘cross tha nation be done wit’ they thang, dis is what ma brothas and sisters in Scotland be sayin’ aboot independence: Och aye tha… no.

As we say in here in Monaco; nae bother pal. Peace out.

Not advertisements

  • SPAD_BMWX4

Read the rest…

Small ads

  • Smallad140915

Read the rest…

News

  • Chevy reveals harder Camaro

    by Sniff Petrol on September 18th, 2014

    The new Camaro, yesterday

    Chevrolet is taking the fight to the 707 horsepower Dodge Challenger Hellcat with a power boost for the Camaro dubbed the High Output Motor Option or HOMO. ‘Listen son, we got a stronger motor, we got bigger brakes, we got new interior parts. This HOMO has a great package,’ said Chevy spokesman Jim Fuddrucker. ‘Trust me boy, this HOMO is… more…

Read the rest…

News

  • Scottish debate reaches Sir Jackie Stewart’s trousers

    by Sniff Petrol on September 18th, 2014

    Sir Jackie Stewart's trousers, yesterday

    As Scotland votes on its future today, political leaders on both sides of the debate have warned that, whatever the outcome, there are no guarantees as to who would get Sir Jackie Stewart’s trousers. ‘Alex Salmond has promised many things,’ said a spokesman for the Better Together campaign. ‘But voters have a right to know that he cannot promise an independent Scotland would… more…

Read the rest…

News

Read the rest…

Crazy Dave

  • Crazy D on the 2014 Italian GP

    by Crazy Dave Coulthard on September 9th, 2014

    CrazyDave2014

    Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on the Biddy Double Ciddle wit’ ma shortie Suzi P and my even shortier Eddie J. So las’ weekend we slide on over to tha Monza massive fo’ tha Italiano Griddle to the Piddle. Moltoizzle beneizzle. Once again, everyone be chattin’ ‘bout dem cats from tha MC Edes cuz ain’t no… more…

Read the rest…

Troy Queef

  • Sweeter than a sugar coated kitten

    by Troy Queef on September 11th, 2014

    troyqueef

    A stark and strident sunlight sears the strip steak sinews of the sordid switchbacks that spear and streak their way across the sad September salute of summer’s last smile. Firing like a bulbous bullet across this bucolic beauty a lone spot of silver draws the eye to the ball of energy moving at a lick across the landscape. What man-made… more…

Read the rest…

Picture news

  • PicNews140912

     

     

Read the rest…

Carcoat Damphands

  • Two apples and a cretin

    by Carcoat on September 15th, 2014

    Carcoat2014

    Griddle my siddles, it’s the end of the Bernard and most Garys have had their Buddys and are looking for an Alan. For those of us in the Michael, it’s an important time to key some heads, but having the right Oxo is watery. Down the hammer at Grunting last fried egg,  got my beady on a Fart Belgrano in… more…

Read the rest…

Columns

Read the rest…