Ask A Total Prick Columns

Ask A Total Prick From An Internet Forum again

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TPFAIFDear Total Prick From An Internet Forum, I bought a second-hand Fiat Punto last year and it has given me no trouble until last week when I took it for an MOT and it failed on headlamp alignment. Can headlights go out of alignment like that or is the tester being overly picky? Ben, Sheffield

A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies… Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise this was now your private Fiat Punto problem solving forum. Jesus. Where do these newbie idiots come from? Didn’t you get the message; all Italian cars are total crap. Why do you think I bought a Honda Civic Type-S? I literally tried every other car on the market and it was the best. Last time I took it for an MOT the tester was amazed at what good condition it was in and I got an amazing deal on the test too.

Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum, I need to buy a new car and the Honda Civic Type-S is on my list of options. I see you have one and I wondered if you could tell me about your personal experiences with the car? All the best! Sanj, London

A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies… Why are you making this personal? I didn’t make it personal and now you’re making it personal. I don’t want to have to report you to a moderator for this but you leave me with no option since you have chosen to make it personal rather than keeping things civil. It’s people like you that are making this forum into a shadow of its former self.

Dear Total Prick From An Internet Forum, Were you at the Honda Civic Type-S Facebook Group meet in Guildford last weekend? I think we might have met! I was talking to a guy with a black Type-S and I only realised afterwards it might have been you! If so, nice to meet you! Sam, Woking

A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies… Oh wow, what a coincidence. Sam, yea? With the red HCT-S? Great to meet you too buddy! Really good banter! You know what? We really should go for a drink sometime. I can come to you. I’m only in Dorking. Seriously, message me your details and we can meet up. I can come to you. It’s no trouble. Let’s meet up. In real life, let’s meet up again. Please.