Troy Queef


troyqueef.jpgSilent shafts of spearing sunshine shoot shimmering stains of summer across this somnambulant scene in front of me. It’s 33 miles to Corby, I’ve got a full tank of petrol, half a pack of Extra Strong Mints, it’s light and I’m wearing Serengeti Firenze driving glasses with polarizing lenses and satin gunmetal frames. Let’s hit it.

But before Dunlop gets cosy with blacktop, just one question sticks in the mind like a quizzical arrow. Will I actually need that full tank of juice? This is not the corpulent conundrum it might as first seem for today I am helming a Honda hydra, a beast not with two heads but with two engines, one that sups from the lead-less cup we all know whilst an electric motor sits bang next to it, snuggled up tight like an incestuous sister. As I prepare to get pedalling on some of the Peterborough area’s finest twisties I will be doing so asking if, motive power-wise, two is better than one. So let’s Tango.

First impressions are of a firm push in the back that would make an osteopath envious. Within mere seconds you know that this baby loves to torque, but can she dance? The first set of apexes will soon set it some questions it needs to answer. And there is no phone a friend. Turn in, the steering as searing as stepping on a Lego brick, feel the tyres tread shuffling their way into the attack position as the Gs reach a mighty crescendo of literal lateral gravity, their rubber souls clinging on for dear life as the sweet suspension commands them to do its benign bidding. All inputs and outputs are telegraphed in crisp digital real time. This is Chassis 3G, a broadband link to the road and all its secrets.

What insight have I got into the Insight? A game of two halves, and they both love to play hard. It’s only right and proper that I up the ante, piling in harder, coming on stronger, revelling in the heat that beats from its hybrid heart. As the road snakes onwards I press on like a panty liner, stringing the sinews together in sweet succession. At one moment I lifted off mid-bend and felt the cheeky tail shuffle sideways. I just caught it with a dab of oppo and I was away.

The Honda Insight 1.3 SE is a bitch. And I spanked it.

Troy Queef is Executive Associate Editor-At-Large for DAB OF OPPO magazine