Troy Queef

She’s big but she’s pretty

troyqueefIt’s a name the might rumble and grumble around your brain like a puzzling peal of thunder. GreenLine. The last time I got the green line I ended up in Bayswater. But today GreenLine has no relation to tawdry Tube travel for this is something that pings pristine with the sheen of eco green. Yes, GreenLine is Skoda’s one stop trip to the town called Virtuous. Today, that newly confected and configured label is gummed with whale-free glue to back of our Czech mate’s mid range snazzy hatch, the Octavia. She’s big but she’s pretty, so how does she dance?

First impressions are good. Steering as direct as Paxman’s pointing finger, brakes as firm and reassuring as a Clint Eastwood handshake. But the biggest surprise is that despite economy figures to make a Scotsman smile and exhaust emissions so slight they would earn you a kiss from Sting, this baby can hustle. It may drink Rudolf’s ruin, but this 1.6 TDI lump can be wound up like a turbocharged four-pot watch.

Fortunately, when the engine punches hard, the chassis has got the face to take it. The ride may be pliant as a pile of poodles but don’t think this eco-hippy won’t go to war in the corners. I pile in hotter than Satan’s sunbed but the smooth Skoda just clings on. Next bend, try the same party trick but lift off at the clip of the apex. The tail does the smooth shuffle, I catch it with a dab of oppo and I’m away.

The Skoda Octavia Greenline 1.6 TDI CR 105bhp DPF is a bitch. And I spanked it.

Troy Queef is Executive Associate Editor-At-Large for DAB OF OPPO magazine