American readers’ questions answered by a sturdy gentleman apparently on the verge of a cardiac episode
Dear Large Breathless Man,
I’m looking for a new truck. I have a boat and my kids are getting bigger so I need towing ability and a real big interior. Any suggestions?
Dave, MI
Large Breathless Man replies
I… uh… I think… uh… pfff pffff pfffffff… you shouldn’t… uh, should get… a Chevy… uh…. because…. technology and stuff… ed crust… With extra cheese… fffffffffffff… gnnnngh.
Dear Large Breathless Man,
I’ve driven F150s for 20 years but this new aluminum business plain well puts me off. What alternatives have I got here?
Jon, MO
Large Breathless Man replies
Well… ungh… what you knees… need, uh… is… uh… a levy… Chevy, gnnnn… cuz, it, uh, uh, uh, uh, got… ugh… technology and, uh… I can’t read that… my uhhh… my card got, uh, technology and sweat on it… uhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Dear Large Breathless Man,
I need a powerful motor for my next truck. No six cylinders, a V8. What’s good for power and performance?
Arn, AZ
Large Breathless Man replies
I… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… you need, gnnn, you need… my arm has gone numb… gnnnnn…. gnnnnnn….. urrrrgh….. please… please… rub more butter on me… uh-hu-huhuh.
