Use your words

Question of the week – 10/11/14


QOTWf1moviepartsIf they were making a movie about the current F1 season, who would you cast and as whom?





  1. Robert Englund as Nikki Lauda, because of the Niki Lauda/Freddie Kreuger resemblance.

  2. a bunch of malnourished 12 year olds as “every single driver”

  3. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Toto Wulff. Because of the accent.

  4. There’s a guy doing Santander bank adverts that looks and sounds just like Jenson Button. He’d be good.

  5. And shouldn’t that be ‘whom’? 🙂

  6. Gollum as the aesthetically challenged Bernie Ecclestone. Gollum’s obsession with ‘the precious’ – at the detriment of everything and everyone – should enable him to play this role very convincingly…

    …oh, and Mr Bump as Pastor Maldonado (obviously)

  7. Someone has to add the obvious: Britney Spears as Nico Rosberg.

  8. Jack Nicholson as Daniel Ricciardo, for the smile obviously.

    Any 6-month old as Vettel, needs to be skilled at throwing toys out of the pram.

  9. Lewis Hamilton – Nicole Sherzinger
    Nico Rosberg – Leonardo DiCaprio (cos they are the same person)
    Fernando Alonso – The Puppet from the Dolmio adverts.
    Philipe Massa – Latka from Taxi.
    Kimji Raikonnen – Lyndsay Lohan
    Romain Grosjean – Alexander the Meerkat
    Dabiel Ricciardo – Mick Dundee
    Sebastian Vettel – Alan Carr
    Ron Denis – Stephen Hawking
    Toto Wolf – Daulph Lungdren
    Max Chilton – Todd Carty
    David Coulthard – Minnie Driver

  10. Frankie Boyle as the politically incorrect podium interviewer

  11. Ali G as Lewis Hamilton.

  12. Paddy Lowe – Mark Millar Irish bloke from DIY SOS

  13. Mr Magoo as Pastor Maldonado

  14. Jimmy Krankie as Bernie Ecclestone

  15. Ed Speleers as Nico Rosberg. Seriously, Google it. The geezer’s a dead ringer for Nico.

    Any young British rapper as Lewis Hamilton. He’d love that, as Lewis secretly wants to be a music industry bad boy anyway.

    The bottom of a saucepan that baked beans have been burnt in could play Pastor Maldonado, for obvious reasons.

    Daniel Ricciardo’s fellow countryman, Guy Pearce, could play the smiliest man in F1, subject to him cheering up a bit after his “no smiles” role in hit film The Rover.

    The son from the Dolmio adverts could play Fernando Alonso. Whilst I’m at it, the dad from the same advert could play Felipe Massa’s father.

    Kryten from Red Dwarf could play ex-F1 racer turned BBC pundit David Coulthard (the square head connection).

    Kimi Raikonnen could be played by any male actor from a Danish police drama. All brooding looks and not a lot of dialogue. Perfect.

    That’s probably enough from me now.

  16. Richard Porter as Ron Dennis
    Jeremy Clarkson as Nelson Piquet
    Richard Hammond as Christian Horner
    James May as Eddie Jordan
    Ashley Cole as Lewis Hamilton
    Alex Salmond as Fernando Alonso
    Barry Gibb as Daniel Ricciardo
    Kimi Raikkonen as himself (non-speaking part)
    Shaggy (Scooby Doo) as Jenson Button/Romain Grosjean
    Steve ‘Interesting’ Davis as Nico Rosberg
    John Cleese as Toto Wolff
    Jim Davidson as Niki Lauda
    Joe Pasquale as Felipe Massa
    Piers Morgan as Flavio Briatore
    Herman Munster’s stunt double as David Coulthard
    Terry-Thomas as Bernie Ecclestone
    John Le Mesurier as Claire Williams
    Peter Sellers as Eric Boullier
    Martin Short as Sebastian Vettel

  17. Ebeneezer Scrooge as Bernie E or maybe the Grim Reaper as the same – or maybe Lord Charles…… Obviously Chris Martin as Jenson…..

  18. Damien Lewis (from Homeland) as Jenson Button
    Leonardo DiCaprio as Nico Rosberg
    Ian McKellen as Ron Dennis
    Benedict Cumberbatch as Graeme Lowdon
    Rob Beckett as Marcus Ericsson
    Chris Hemsworth as Kimi Raikkonen
    Arnold Schwarzenegger for Toto Wolff
    Bruce Willis as Rubens Barrichello getting sacked from punditry

  19. Sanjeev Bhaskar as Monisha Kaltenborn

  20. Mercedes:

    Marvin Humes as Lewis Hamilton
    Leonardo DiCaprio as Nico Rosberg
    Daniel Bruhl (with some Hollywood ageing magic) as Niki Lauda
    Arnie (with some Hollywood youth-ening magic) as Toto Wolff

    Red Bull:

    Alfie Allen as Sebastian Vettel
    Nicolas Cage as Daniel Ricciardo
    Benedict Cumberbatch as Christian Horner
    Patrick Stewart as Adrian Newey


    Christian Bale as Fernando Alonso
    Mads Mikkelsen as Kimi Raikonnen
    Charles Dance as Luca di Montezemolo
    Dustin Hoffman as Marco Mattiaci
    Chris O’Dowd as Stefano Domenicali


    Danny DeVito as Felipe Massa
    David Beckham as Valtteri Bottas
    Natalia Tena as Claire Williams
    Nicole Kidman as Susie Wolff


    Daniel Craig as Jenson Button
    Brad Pitt as Kevin Magnussen
    Martin Freeman as Ron Dennis
    Nick Frost as Eric Boullier


    Alan Ford as Bernie Ecclestone
    John Cleese as Eddie Jordan
    and, finally:
    Cristiano Ronaldo as Pastor Maldonado

  21. Should all be robots.

  22. Draco Malfoy as Max Chilton
    Gollum as Bernie
    That boss-eyed tramp fella in Big Daddy as Maldonado
    Macauley Culkin (in Home Alone) as Nico Rosberg

  23. Kate Beckinsale as Claire Williams

  24. The old 80s puppet Max Headroom as Marcus Erricsson

  25. Oh, and Donald Pleasence as Ron Dennis

  26. Ozzy Osbourne as Bernie Ecclestone……..why not?

  27. Ebeneezer Scrooge as Bernie
    Beaker (Muppets) as Kimi
    Come to think of it the entire cast of the Muppets as the whole of F1 with Waldorf and Stadler as Ron Dennis and Eddie Jordan

  28. I would simply have the entire cast of the hit musical ‘Cats'(The musical tells the story of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles and the night they make what is known as “the Jellicle choice” and decide which cat will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life. Cats also introduced the song standard “Memory”. – i stole this bit from Wikipedia), it would be far more entertaining than the usual type of film about car racing (usually made in America and each vehicle seems to have a 35 speed gearbox), where people are always asking ‘lets see what this baby can do’. With my ‘Cats’ based F1 drama / musical film i do believe that F1 would be shown in its best light and would appeal to new audiences who would be ‘wowed’.

  29. Peter Sellers as every driver with appropriate accents to fit

  30. Ian MacDiarmid[1] as Bernie Ecclescake.
    Mr Stabby as Fernando Alonso
    Vic Reeves as Stefano Domenicali (retd.)
    The late Spike Milligan as Eddie Jordan
    Dave The Cardboard Box[2] as David Coulthard
    P Diddy as Lewisham ‘ilton[3]
    Ron Jeremy as James Allen. Geddit??
    Val Doonican as himself. Hello there!

    1: Emperor Palpatine in the “Star Wars” franchise, that’s who.
    2: Off “Carrott’s Lib”
    3: Only F1 driver ever named after a south London police station

  31. Timothy Spall as everyone.

  32. Peter Ustinov as everyone. Oh, wait, that’s already been done.

  33. Maureen off Driving School as Pastor Maldonado
    Sonia Ghandi as Monisha Kaltenborn
    Humpty Dumpty as Niki Lauda
    Peter Andre as Nico Rosberg

  34. George Michael as Pastor Maldonado.
    Professor Stanley Unwin as Eddie Jordan
    obviously the son from the Dolmio adverts as Alonso
    Sid James as Flavio Briatore
    Katherine Hiegl as Nico Rosberg
    Rene from Allo Allo as Eric Boulier
    either one of Rizzle Kicks as Lewis Hamilton
    Arnie as Toto, of course
    Andy Serkis (via CGI) as Bernie

  35. Rob Brydon as Toto Wolff. Because of the accent.

  36. David Suchet as Peter Sauber, obviously

  37. Fozzie Bear as Ross Brawn. No, wait, when was he sacked again?

  38. @ spd rdr Nice answer. Rumour, and high forehead with no hairline, has it, that a silver acrylic hair piece is playing Eddie Jordan’s hair.

  39. An F1 movie?

    I’d cast Eddie Jordan as a knowledgeable pundit.
    David Coulthard as an interesting commentator.
    Suzi Whatsername as the engaging anchor woman.

    Obviously this will be a comedy.

  40. Eddie Jordan as Eddie Jordan, seriously, who the f**k else could be such a gobshite?

  41. Daddy Pig as Ross Brawn.

  42. I love the suggestion of Alan Ford as Bernie Ecclestone!

    I can see him now talking to Marussias team principal in Spa, when Max was almost dropped for Rossi:

    “I don’t care if he’s Muhammed I’m ‘ard Ali. You can’t change drivers!”

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