Use your words

Question of the week – 05/01/15


QOTWnewyearsresolutionsWhat car-related resolutions have you made for the new year?




  1. As the pilot of a recession white BMW, I think I’ll regurgitate the resolution I made when I bought the damn thing and clean it once in a wheel. Seems to have a particularly mucky arse at the moment. Disgusting.

  2. …and after cleaning it in a wheel, I’ll maybe clean it once in a while too. And then I’ll learn to type. Fool.

  3. ….i am going to attempt to register a 2003 Mitsubishi Shogun Pinin, in France. I believe this resolution may actually take the whole of 2015, a lot of paper, some fist shaking, wine drinking and swearing.

  4. No more diesel shitboxes. C220 estate is due a change this year and since the kids came along (nine years now) I’ve sacrificed Queef-worthy steeds for humdrum boxes, but NO MORE!

    C63 top of the shopping list. Just have to invent some sort of expense-cloaking technology to get the missus onboard and I’m done.

  5. Always fit the smallest wheels possible to fit over the brake calipers. No more low profile vanity for me.

  6. Gotta make a diesel Accord last another year! 2005 model, and only 96k on the clock so should be ok but Feb’s gonna be expensive – 4*tyres, 4*discs and pads, MoT, and road tax. Ouch. Planning to acquire something else next year, something more exciting I think, and probably petrol-engined. Quite fancy a classic, but not sure I could cope with the loss of reliability!

  7. Not to switch off the traction control when approaching a greasy hairpin bend thinking I have enough talent and road to avoid spinning into the bank.

  8. I’m buying my first ever new car! A Volvo XC60. Also, I’m going to learn to weld (not related)

  9. For the average driver, and family, the XC60 delivers what they need. – See more at:

  10. To stop responding to random internet questions,,,,,,

  11. To not watch F1 unless it has at least 20 cars…

  12. What day is it?

  13. 1: Cease pouring my hard-earned wedge into the bottomless pit of Alfa 156 ownership.

    2: Continue to bimble-around in my 1996 Peugeot 306 non-turbo diesel waiting for something to go wrong with it, which it won’t.

    3: Continue to curse the Italians for not putting an XUD engine into the 156.

    4: Have a fight with a lion.

  14. Fix car’s electrical problems/bring peace to the Middle East, whichever is easier.

  15. There’s a bunch of people that think Italian cars are shit and I’m going to prove them wrong…. specially that grinning Australian twit……

  16. Whenever the next version of a sports/super/hyper car is announced such as the GT3RS, next Ferrari/Lambo/etc, I’ll be the first to post “No manual? Not interested.” Or perhaps “More like autotragic,” or “Ferrari just cost themselves a sale.”

    The other would be to replace my 2.5 Golf manual with a Golf R if I could afford to move out of my parents house.

  17. To continue the charade (which so far has worked) I have going with my wife which has convinced her that replacing my diesel Jag XF with an E55 is actually saving us money, because it cost less to buy than I sold the Jag for and we use it less thanks to my new job.

    This is a complete lie – I think the only way it would cost less would be if I only used it twice a year, but so far she hasn´t twigged. Unfortunately I may get rumbled soon, as fairly shortly it will require new brakes and tyres.

  18. I may attempt to change my Passat brake discs myself in a vain attempt at saving money, which will instead probably be spent on Elastoplast, antiseptic cream and painkillers. I will also continue to curse the day I sold my Alfa 156.

  19. On that note, I will also continue to curse the day I sold said Jag XF. The novelty aspect of a big V8 wore off pretty quickly and I now miss such sensible things as good ride quality, a modern stereo and sat nav, heated steering wheel and the ability to drive in the rain without slithering everywhere sideways regardless of whether I´m trying to or not. Just don´t tell my wife…

    I´m getting old.

  20. I’m resolved to make all my motoring chums sick so I’m going to the Rolex 24 in Daytona. I fly out from the dreary United Kingdom in 2 weeks tomorrow. I am smug.

  21. Buy an old Honda Accord.

  22. To sell an old Honda Accord.

  23. I will not slash the tires of that Land Rover that blocks my drive every day. I WILL NOT! And i definitely won’t key it either, no way. Nor will I beat all of the windows in with a cricket bat, nuh uh. And I DEFINITELY WILL NOT take a dump in the air filter.

    If I make it to tomorrow without doing all of this I will be surprised

  24. Stop cloning other people’s number plates. Did it last year and the selfish utter bastard who owned the car I cloned hadn’t taxed or mot’d his car either. I mean, how can people be so thoughtless?

  25. Not to programme the following places into my Sat-Nav: Argentina, Mexico, India, Poland, anywhere that hosts a Nascar race, Somerset, Wales, truck stops, Ipswich and Germany.

  26. To remember to select the ‘indicator delete’ option when speccing up my new 1/2/3/4/5/6/, X or Z series.

  27. Now it is summer (Western Australia) I will drive the Moke at least once a week.

  28. Not driving to the petrol station with the munchies after a heavy sesh on the polm. Will get a taxi. Promise.

  29. Buy a dog and run over my twit neighbor’s Fiat with it.

  30. Buy a Citroen Cactus instead of a Juke or a Kuga as it’s the clever choice.

    Be the only person in the UK with a Citroen Cactus.

  31. I will continue trying to convince every diesel car driver I meet that they’re mugs who’ve been taken in by the completely made-up eco-hype, their cars are awful and they should get one with a real engine. Morons.

    I will also continue training to run away faster from shouting diesel drivers trying to kill me.

  32. To sell more merchandise than my team mate.

  33. I MUST – this year…as I have been saying for the past 8 years….buy an Electroclash Grey Fiat Panda 100HP.

    I just NEED one.

    Even my mam has just bought a Panda…so it’s gotta be done….

  34. Hunt and Kill Chris Harris, what a KNOB!

  35. Fix the connection for the 3.5 mm stereo jack so I can use my iPod for the first time in seven bloody years!

  36. I should actually get around to replacing my Alfa 156 that I bought as a two month stop gap two and a half years ago…
    It now has 150k on the clock, drives well, doesn’t use any oil, doesn’t eat tyres, pretty easy on the go juice, most electrics work and it isn’t rusty underneath – BUT it does seem to consume vast quantities of cash somehow; not sure why…
    Think I’ll get a Skoda, that should cure me.

  37. Sell the SL55 AMG and get a 997 C4.
    Anyone looking for a 15K supercar? Anyone?

    Oh, and not get out of the way of Audi A3 drivers when they come up right behind me at 90. What is it about those motors that make people drive like bell ends?

  38. To turn the sound and probably the picture off on the telly every time Lewis Hamilton speaks, or is spoken to or is spoken about. Its going to be a quiet year.

  39. My car-based resolution for this year is to no longer brake when an Audi pulls out in front of me.

    I am taking bets on which month the pile-up happens.

  40. In the daytime: To deliberately collide with white/grey/silver cars driving in poor visibility without lights because “it saves the bulbs”.

    In the nightime: To deliberately collide with any vehicle that has apparently strapped several supernovae in place of headlights, rendering me blind and sun-burned much like that nice Mr Dreyfuss in Close Encounters.

    While in nick: Compile a Venn diagram that exposes drivers who fall into both of the above categories then plan to hunt them for sport when I get out.

  41. To laugh at anyone with reverse (or forward, come to that) parking sensors AND a dent in the bumper.

  42. Install a LED matrix message panel in the back window so I can pass jolly messages to the tailgaters like “Police. Pull over now” and ” So you found the high beam control!”

  43. … And with a default message of “If you can read this you don’t need your fog lights on”

  44. To get one of those rather fetching ear studs like my prematurely balding idol Mr Hamilton.

  45. Save on plastic bottles by pissing in my shoe before discarding it out the window in the fast lane of the M6.

  46. I resolve to avoid inattentive middle-aged women in Merc A-Classes.

    R.I.P. Morgan’s BMW 528i Touring. 🙁

  47. This is last weeks question of the week. Where is this weeks? I dont pay my license fee for this lackluster service.

  48. To continue being the best driver in the whole world!

    (At crashing into other cars, barriers, kerbs, pit crews and so on)

  49. Might actually spend some money on the 93 poverty edition – get an aux in, mudflaps, better alloys, a little bootlid spoiler perhaps. Might go full out and fit facelift rear lights too, if I can work out how to get a reflector in.

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