If you had to think of a new model name for a car, what would it be?
Suppose it depends on the manufacturer’s name first, but I believe Llanfairpwllgwyngychgogerychwyndrobwll-Llandisiliogogogoch should be in with a shout.
Particularly if suffixed with “Classic”, “Elegance” or “Exclusive” as seems to be the norm nowadays.
Not sure about the name, but I’d put “GTi Turbo Express-R 4WD Super Turbo Type-R” after it. I think they sell the sticker in Halfords (judging by some of the cars around Ipswich)
“NEXT” then they wouldn’t need to change the model name ever agin – just roll out the “NEXT” version whenever – save them a fortune trying to think up a new original name at every new model release.
In deference to Sniff’s love of BL and of correct English usage I suggest m’AR!na
The “I think I look like a million dollars in this but I actually turn out looking like a right *&!$ (De Luxe and SE versions)
anything is better than the BMW i8 or the Alfa 4c. BMW are you hungry? no i8. and 4c in America is a brand of Ice tea. How about Duran Duran?
Airfix (for a British brand), Tamiya (Japanese), Revell (from the good ol’ USA)
If it was white with blacked-out windows and mah-ooo-siv wheels, I’d call it the ‘Nickel & Dime Bag Edition’. on account of what the owners sell.
“Rocket” Far too many manufacturers try to be clever and obscure these days (Bentayga? Really?). Names with some ambition and optimism about them are what’s needed. (Even if they don’t live up to them)
I would choose a Japanese car for launch in Hawaii on December 7th 2016. The name I would give it would be “Zero”, I am sure that it would be a memorable event.
Why not start using more descriptive car names. Possibly such as the Nissan Bland, the Vauxhall Insipid, Honda Pensioner Special, Audi Onanist, etc
Probably best on a Ford, to follow on in the tradition of the Escort & Fiesta
Razzle? I’d buy that for a dollar all day and I don’t even like Fords that much.
Once they have me hooked, I can aspire to their pinnicle-of-the-range luxobarge – to be named the ‘Penthouse’ – obviously.
I want a manufacturer called Kindly to bring out a model called the Pissoff. It would save me having to keep telling Micras in front and Audis behind.
How about for the US market: Audi Partner (with Raw Hide trim)
Or a special Derren Brown model: Audi DoThat
Or an Opel Fruits.
The Orssaloon. (Best on a Ford).
What do you mean it’s already taken? Well, I’m all out then.
Audi Foolscap Quarto to replace the A4
I really like how Ferrari honour their founder with the Enzo and LaFerrari. Maybe Volkswagen should take note and produce the VW DasHitler?
I was going to use the Audi Partner suggestion (for potential cowboys) but have been beaten to that.
Instead I suggest (for lovers of 1960’s TV police programmes) the Vauxhall This Then?
Considering that Alfa Romeo started making the 6C in 1925, and the 8c in 1931, I think 4c is a great model name.
How about a Jeep Wrangler Lee Levis edition?
The Americans also have a tradition of naming their cars after sea side towns. (Chevy Monte Carlo, for example) – so how about the Buick Bournemouth ?
I’m getting desperate now so I’m off…..
Audi Labia – after all every c#nts got one
Porsche Cayman or Boxster trim level called the Look at me I cant afford a 911. Probably a big badge though, maybe just abbreviate to Porsche LAMICANE!
@AustinPrincess – they could hardly call it a VW Porsche.. well, maybe they could since they own them! The other Enzo, though, would be the VW Ferry. Marketing may complain, the dozy sods. Still better than the Mini Alec, FIAT Kilbertus (or Wuppinger, heaven help them), and the Ssangyong Bunch O’Drunkstudents.
Can’t be long until we see the VW Xyz, the BMW 3.1415926 and the Nissan Compostheap.
The Isuzu Initial Mighty Trustee Campinologist…?
It’s got a ring to it.
I do apologise.
Ferrari Ludicrous – well named
Bentley Crass – would sell well to the “wrong type”.
Maybach Rice Cracker – tasteless.
Aston Martin stick-DB-in-the-name-to-trade-on-past-glories special edition.
BMW 2-series Tourer….. oh I’ve gone too far with that one……. What?…….Really?……
How about a number or letter to identify the segment, followed by a number to ‘accurately’ identify the engine size?
Suzuki Suzi Quattro – quite loud and good looking but knocking on a bit.
Mercedes should finally come out and declare the class system: Mercedes Working Class, Lower-middle, Middle, Upper Middle, Upper, and Minor Royalty for the Maybach.
It would only be honest…
Bristol Fox Harrier Tweed Edition.
VW Crazy Golf.
For our latest Chinese reject import for the bereft of taste I offer you the 2015 Roewe Chlamydia Royale (and MG 2 litre Trush spinoff)
Datsun Badger, I don’t know why?
The Ford Pubic
Made out of some Corsair parts they’ve just found.
Next 4 door model, minimum 6 cylinders.
Now you can really say,
“I’ll just bring the Jaaag around the front”
“Pick you up in the Jaaag on the way”
“It’s a Jaaag”
without people thinking you’re actually affecting a minor public school accent for effect – because that’s what it’s actually called, actually.
Porche Well Basically
For the next stripped down, ‘ring honed 911 special edition.
Your friends will ask, “Why is it twice the price of a Carrera?”
You will respond, “Well basically…”
Holden Someoneelses for that matter.
Rebadged in the UK as
Vauhxall Myown work
The Renault Gache.
Replaces the Megane and its arse: Product tagline could be “No longer derriere; now gache. The 2015 Renault Gache.”
The Nissan Dero
The Honda Sia
The Citroën Finity
The Suzuki Acid
The Toyota Tanano
Just so you know, the following have already been done:
– Porsche Accent
– Lada Da
– Audi Pardner (sorry Chris and Stig)
– Caterham Corps
– Chrysler Mighty
– Vauxhall Thisaboutthen (sorry Stig, again)
In production now:
– Humber Estuary
– Bond Girl
– Smart Bomb, Smart Ease, Smart Arss and the new electric Smart e-Panz
I’m here all week.
I forgot the Kia Ora.
What about the Kia Kanardly Go ?
Aston Martin Victor, to replace the DB9, thus paying tribute both to Mr Gauntlett and (along with the Vulcan) to their base’s past as an RAF V-bomber airfield…
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Guest reviewer XANDRIA BISKER-FISCKER, founder of the GIN SOAKED MUMMY blog, tests a new family car