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He’s back and he’s even more of a needlessly chippy tit. Your motoring questions answered by a twat who wouldn’t dare to talk like this in real life.
He’s back and he’s even more of a needlessly chippy tit. Dear A Total Prick From An Internet Forum,
I left my almost-brand-new Mercedes C43 AMG in a cinema car park last week and when I got back from watching a movie someone had dented the front wing and scuffed the bumper. They didn’t leave a note, the car park operator says their CCTV was broken and I’m seriously annoyed. Reckon there’s anything else I can do to catch the culprit?
Carlos, Manchester
A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies…
First of all, hello to you too. Nice of you to introduce yourself so politely. Not. I remember a time when newbies on this forum had some manners. Secondly, cars don’t just get dented for no reason. It’s pretty clear to me that you must have parked like a moron or seriously peed off someone with your driving on the way to the car park. You’ve bought a car that, IMHO, is way beyond your ability and, worse still, now you’re coming into a public arena to boast about your own idiocy. This is 110 percent your fault. End of.
Dear A Total Prick From An Internet Forum,
My Mini Cooper S is coming to the end of its finance arrangement and I’m thinking of replacing it with a Golf R. Do you know if they’re still doing decent PCP deals and, more importantly, do you think it’s a good idea, or will the Golf feel a bit ‘grown up’ after my Mini?
Alex, Watford
A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies…
Oh I’m sorry, I must have missed that post where I said I was a VW dealer. No, I don’t know of any PCP deals on the (awful IMHO) Golf R. Why would you assume that anyone on this forum would, Alex? What you should be doing if you’ve got any sense is seeking out a low-mileage FK Civic Type-S. I’ve had mine for eight years and in that time it has given almost no trouble. It’s also way more fun to drive than a Golf or your Mini and utterly faultless for the most part. Another thing, why are you financing a car? It’s just money down the drain when you could buy outright. Seriously, why do you come to this forum when you clearly know nothing about cars and you’re obviously just trying to start an argument, Alex? I will be reporting this to the mods.
Dear A Total Prick From An Internet Forum,
Sorry, I wrote to you earlier about switching my Mini Cooper S for a Golf R and I forgot to ask, do you know of any decent VW dealers in or around London? I’ve had some pretty terrible experiences with patronising salesmen over the years, no doubt because I’m a woman!
Alex, Watford
A Total Prick From An Internet Forum replies…
Hi Alex! Great to hear from you again. TFW you don’t realise a newbie is a girl! Yea, that. Know what you mean about car main dealers. I mean, I totally know what you mean cuz I had issues with a Honda agent a while back. Because… reasons. Total nightmare dot com #firstworldproblems Hey, if you’re in the south east maybe we could meet up to visit some car dealers or something. Do you have any pictures of you in your Mini? I’d love to see them. Okay, TPFAIF out.
