News that Alain Prost has been sighted at Ferrari’s Fiorano test track has confirmed what many motorsport experts have feared for some time – the former world champion is stuck in a time warp.
“The Italians are claiming Prost was there to test the Maserati MC12 GT,” said Maurice Ital of Every Other Sunday magazine. “But it seems pretty clear to me they’re covering up. Prost wasn’t invited there at all. For him this was just another day at work. Unfortunately, he still thinks his ‘work’ is as a driver for the Ferrari F1 team.”
An anonymous Ferrari source was quick to confirm these remarkable allegations. “Alain has been turning up here on a regular basis,” he confirmed. “He often jumps out of his Fiat Tipo enthusing about the Stone Roses or talking about how difficult it must be to merge East and West Germany. It seems pretty clear, he’s become trapped in 1990. I mean, God, just look at his hairstyle.”
In fact, experts say it may be that very hairstyle that is causing the ex-champ’s unusual confusion: “Alain Prost has exceptionally curly hair,” noted Pne Flemby, Head of Mentalist Studies at St. Elmosfire College, Stoke. “It may have put excess pressure on his brain, causing him to lose that last 14 years. Or something.”
Whatever the explanation, our Italian mole says the situation in Modena is only getting worse. “No one has the guts to tell him what year it is,” he confessed. “It’s difficult enough hiding all the extra trophies, never mind pretending there are only two Lethal Weapon films.”
This story was originally published in May 2004
