Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave reports from the 2012 US GP

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha jus’ after tha news when you’ve already seen tha result. Hot damn. So las’ weekend we slide on over USA side fo’ tha all-new United States Gee to tha Pee and man, the championship be getting’ tighter than the crotch of Crazy D’s jeans. Hard to sit down in a low armchairizzle.

So come tha triple stage fly to survive, it be all about ma homies at tha ReBu wit’ ma buddy Sebby V slammin’ it on tha ones and ma brother M Web all up on that shit too. But who this be slidin’ in smooth but ma man Tha Ham and that cat be on tha two slot. Ain’t so sweet fo’ ma West Country brethren Jenny B cuz that brother be all done on tha twelve but nuff respec’ fo ma man Mickey Schu cuz that ol’ bastard slammin’ it on tha six. There’s life in the old dogizzle yetizzle.

Everyting seem gravy fo’ tha race but then ma homies at Fo’Rrari be pretendin’ that Filly M got a broke box o’ gears and shit. Kinda muthafluckin’ convenient cuz he gotta take a five spot slide on tha G-rid and that put ma boy Nando on tha clean side fo’ tha five an’ out. Creative interpretatizzle of tha regulatizzles, tha sneaky muzzlefuzzckers.

Come tha main event, ma boy Svett be flyin’ away up that hill and tings ain’t sweet like chocolate fo’ ma homies on tha dirty side. Ain’t a problem fo’ Crazy D, laydeez. Me be always on tha clean side, Persil fresh in tha tighty whitey jeans. Shazam. So it all be lookin’ smooth fo’ tha Vettmaster but who this be up all on he’s shit? It’s Da Ham, and man that cat got he’s groove on, slammin’ some sweet ass, almost wheel rubbin’ moves on Tha V. Race winnin’ pace. Enjoy it whileizzle you canizzle.

Come tha special steps Stetson an’ spray, it be Tha Ham on tha ones, Sebby V on tha twos and Nando on tha threes. That muthaflickin’ championshizzle, it go to tha wire. An’ I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout tha TV show that Crazy D be watching cuz he got tha boxizzle setizzle.

Join us for the sensational conclusion to the 2012 season, and an emotional farewell to our friend Jake Humphrey, starting at 3pm on Sunday 25 November, only on BBC One.