Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat. Not sure why you have a goose in your house, that might be something to look at before everything gets covered in feathers and goose plops. At the very least, you should ask for some carpet cleaner for Christmas.
Once you’ve put that one your list, however, you might be stuck on what else you’d like as a present so here’s a handy list of things that I’m tarting about this Christmas.
First off, I’ve got a new book out. It’s called Petrolhead and it’s a compilation of various columns I’ve written for evo magazine. Due to a terrible admin error, I’m their longest-serving columnist, having had a page in the mag since 2003. If you’re dying to read an idiotic dissection of Rihanna’s Shut Up And Drive, a thinly veiled pop at Elon Musk and a review of the Alpine A110 by a man who’s just had a vasectomy, this is the book for you.
If that sounds too interesting, why not ask for one (or more) of my Boring Car Trivia books. There are four of the damn things, all guaranteed to help you nod off with the sheer power of nerdery.
Speaking of nerdery, every month the nice people at The Intercooler let me write a super geeky column for them which is called Geek Out!, just to make things absolutely clear. If you’d like to read my monthly rambling about dashboard switches, rear light sharing, test mules and whathaveyou (along with hundreds of brilliant articles by more interesting contributors including Henry Catchpole, Richard Bremner, Karun Chandhok and Ian Callum), you can currently get 25 percent off your first year’s subscription with this link.
I am, mathematically speaking, 50 percent of the Smith and Sniff podcast and if you knew that already, you might like to ask for some Smith and Sniff merchandise this Christmas. We’ve got T-shirts, hoodies, mugs and stickers, though sadly not the pies and ties we keep promising. Maybe one day.
I should also mention that m’colleague, Jonny Smith, has his own Late Brake Show merchandise range, including some very tasteful new keyrings and of course the classic Barn Find Fleece.
Special mention to a couple of excellent magazines for whom I’m a regular contributor and for which you might like to receive a subscription. First of all, Copacetic, a thoughtful and intelligent take on modified cars. Secondly, The Road Rat, a quarterly of consistently high quality, from the paper stock to the photography to the writing. Apart from my bits.
Finally, if you’re still looking for another book to ask for, there’s And On That Bombshell, my look back at working on Top Gear from 2002 until 2015. Or, if you like fictional booze hungry car journalists, you could try How To Be A Car Journalist by Roy Lanchester, or his ridiculous Cold War thriller, Steel Flies.
