Archive for the ‘Shameless plugging’ Category

Wondering what to ask for this Christmas? Like Top Gear? Wondering what to give a relative this Christmas? Don’t care if they like Top Gear or not, the ungrateful bastards? Well good news! Sniff Petrol has written a new Top Gear book in league with the very excellent David Quantick, writer of many funny things including TV Burp.

The book is called A Top Gear Christmas and it’s packed full of all the usual bollocks you’d expect from the world’s favourite programme that used to be about cars including Clarkson’s opinion powered hot air balloon, Hammond’s guide to cooking for Brummies, May’s disastrous stint as a department store Santa, a whole cartoon strip based on The Interceptors thing that was on the TV this year and much, much more.

You can buy it from the nice people at Amazon by making with the click, here.

Good news for all fans of utterly dreadful car journalist Troy Queef; Dab Of Oppo T-shirts are now back in stock in all sizes.

Yes, the British summer was rubbish but what if there’s a sudden heatwave in October? You’ll look pretty stupid if you haven’t got a stylish piece of website-related T-shirtery to wear then, won’t you eh? Also, you might live in Australia, in which case your summer is just around the corner and is bound to be boiling hot. Plus, scientists now believe that these T-shirts actually repel spiders, snakes, sharks and all the other lethal things that are constantly trying to kill you as soon as you go outside. Bonzer!

Make with some clickery to buy a Dab Of Oppo T-shirt now!

Sniff Petrol has lovingly crafted the words to a brand new book called The Top Gear Drivers’ Handbook.

If you watch Top Gear only because you fancy Richard Hammond and think James May has sweet hair, this probably isn’t the book for you. If, on the other hand, you like this website you will almost certainly enjoy the Drivers’ Handbook since it has almost nothing to do with the TV show and is actually a bit silly and strange.

In fact, you should buy a copy now before the publisher realises they’ve made a terrible mistake and withdraws all copies in favour of a massive picture of Jeremy Clarkson pretending to set fire to stuff.

The Top Gear Drivers’ Handbook is in bookshops now, or you can order a half price copy from the nice people at Amazon by making a clicking action here

The evenings are getting lighter, the temperature is getting warmer and all across the Northern Hemisphere people are looking vainly in the wardrobes before saying, ‘Gosh, I wish I could buy a T-shirt bearing the silly catchphrase of Troy Queef from Sniff Petrol, preferably in a choice three different colours such as blue, green or another sort of green and for just seventeen pounds or slightly more if I live abroad.’ Well, the good news is, you can.

Thanks to the excellent people at Slick Attire, Troy Queef T-shirts are ready and waiting for your wearing pleasure. To secure what is almost certain to be the only thing to be seen in at motoring events this summer, effect some clicking here. Although when we say ‘the only thing’, please do remember to put on some trousers.

If you’re interested in the real nuts and bolts of the car industry your geek-o-senses will tingle with excitement at news of a freshly-published autobiography by former Chrysler UK and Austin Rover design boss Roy Axe.

In a cruel twist of timing, Axe died last month but not before completing this wonderful reflection on his working life.

As well as creating crisply styled, everyday cars that made our high streets look slightly more stylish, Axe also had an amazingly cool name and rocked a bald head / big specs combo that made him the groovy Eric Morecambe-alike of Brit car sketching. Plus, when he arrived at Austin Rover they showed him the top secret Maestro just before it entered production and he told them it looked shit so you know his aesthetic sense was top notch.

If you love juicy behind the scenes tales from a time when Britain had a proper car industry, you really should buy this book. Make with the Amazon clicky to do so.

The Big Book of Top Gear 2011 is the new title by the man who writes this website and it’s on sale in all good bookshops now.

Inside you’ll find vast swathes of nonsense, largely related to the world’s most popular TV show about having an argument and then falling over, often near some cars.

Highlights include details of the Jeremy Clarkson Hyperbole Service, Richard Hammond’s guide to living in the countryside, James May’s new rave CD, an excellent Reliant Robin cartoon, a guide to Top Gear filming locations and some stuff about secret things you never saw on the telly.

There’s also a free handbook for the TG electric car, a look at some new movies directed by the presenters and a hilarious joke in which The Stig accidentally writes a rather boring autobiography in the comically overwrought style of Troy Queef. Although come to think of it, that last thing really has happened.

The Big Book of Top Gear 2011. It’s like Sniff Petrol except it’s a book and it’s mostly about Top Gear.

Click here to buy it from Amazon.

Yes, the internet discussion forum is the craze that’s sweeping the nation, writes a man cruelly trapped in the mid- to late 1990s. It’s therefore no surprise to learn that even this very website has a discussion forum, run by the nice people at tyresmoke.net Unfortunately, because no one seems to know or care about the Sniff Petrol forum it is about as busy as a website in the mid- to late 1890s. Why not see if you can change that by going over to the Sniff Petrol forum right now and blathering on for a bit about cars and stuff. What have you got to lose, apart from valuable time, dignity and possibly an eye.

Sniff Petrol has written another Top Gear-related book. It’s called The Alternative Highway Code. Actually, Sniff Petrol’s very talented mate Paul did all the hard work but Sniff was around to provide unhelpful interference and a reference to Angela Lansbury.

If you would like to buy this lovingly tooled volume then you might like to know that it’s available from all good bookshops, some mediocre supermarkets, and of course via amazon.co.uk

Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code. It’s like the real Highway Code, but with 17 more jokes in it.

The weather is warm and a chap’s thoughts invariably turn to shaking off that fusty winter coat in favour of something more appropriate. A T-shirt for example. A T-shirt that you can leave the house in of an evening and then bitterly regret later when the sun has gone down and everyone still wants to sit outside the pub. Well you can’t suggest moving indoors can you, lest everyone calls you a ‘homo’. You should have brought a jacket you idiot. Anyway, none of this is Sniff Petrol’s problem; we’re just trying to flog you some T-shirts.

And what T-shirts they are, bearing the distinctive slogan of everyone’s favourite appalling try-hard prose writer Troy Queef. You can get your very own piece of wearable Queefery by making with a clicking action upon this highlighted text

Don’t forget that if you need to buy more than one new T-shirt for the approaching summer, and frankly you probably should, you could get Troy tees in all three colours. Or you could visit Slick Attire, the lovely people who make the Queef shirts and many other excellent designs. Yes.

Just a quick reminder about some of the exciting and highly futuristic things that Sniff Petrol does outside of hardly ever updating this website.

First off there’s the splendid Gareth Jones on Speed podcast featuring lots of car stuff being talked about by three men, one of whom is almost certainly writes this website (when he can be bothered).

Secondly, Sniff Petrol has a Facebook fan page upon which you can write things, such as complaints about why the next issue is late, or pose questions, such as why the bloody hell haven’t you done a new issue you lazy twat. There’s also an unseen sweary MG ad on there and – SCOOP! – a brand new fake ad that didn’t make it into this issue.

Thirdly, don’t forget the Sniff Petrol Twitter feed which provides more regularly updated snippets of shite including the surprisingly popular LIVE coverage of Formula 1 races, things happening in Sniff Petrol’s real life permitting.

Fourthly, it may be covered in dust and buried at the back of some internet cupboard, but Sniff Petrol still has a discussion forum, providing the perfect place to moan about why there isn’t a new issue and the lack of Twitter feed during the last race.

Finally, don’t forget that you can still buy an attractive Troy Queef DAB OF OPPO T-shirt thanks to the nice people at Slick Attire